


The Loneliest Person (Someone Like Me)

by ZeroHorizon



Series: A Divergence of 0.0037% [1]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 2na, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mina is soft, Misana is the softest!!, Sana is softer, Slow Burn, Stop sleeping on 2na, We need more Misana fics, misana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-07-18 03:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16109843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeroHorizon/pseuds/ZeroHorizon
Summary: Sana once described Mina as a lonely penguin in need of protection. Mina never noticed it, but perhaps their affectionate Sana is the loneliest member out of all of them... Left alone together at the Twice dorm during Chuseok, Mina realizes that she and Sana are more alike than she thought, and she tries to find the courage to reveal something to Sana that she never thought she'd be able to say.





	1. Softest Morning

**Author's Note:**

> The Twice members go home for Chuseok except for Mina, Sana, and Momo. Mina, who has a secret crush on Sana, is finding it increasingly difficult to hide her feelings from Sana due to the absence of the other members at the Twice dorms.
> 
> The fluffy and slightly angsty love story that 2na/Misana and their 10 shippers deserve. :)
> 
> Twitter: @misamosquito
> 
>  

Mina awoke to the feel of Sana's lips on her forehead. The dream that she was having melted away from the warm kiss, pulling Mina back to reality. She slowly blinked her eyes open and found Sana leaning over her with a smile more radiant than the early morning sunlight.

"Good morning, Mittang," Sana said affectionately, calling Mina by her Japanese nickname. The heavy use of aegyo in Sana's voice made the sleepy girl smile.

"Good morning, Sattang," Mina replied, sitting up in a daze. Faint traces of the dream still lingered in Mina's brain, making it difficult for her to get her bearings straight. "What were you doing just now?" Mina asked sleepily. Their affectionate greeting to each other was in Japanese, but everything else that followed was in Korean as usual. 

"Nothing, just waking you up," Sana replied in Korean, using her thumb to rub the damp spot her lips left on Mina's forehead. It was slowly become a daily ritual for Sana to wake Mina up with a forehead kiss. The only exception to the rule was on days with Twice schedules that had them waking up at different times or had Sana stuck in the hair and makeup chair for hours. But on a schedule-free day like today, Sana was free to wake up Mina whenever and however she chose.

"Tzuyu is almost ready to leave. I thought you might want to say goodbye."

"Eh?? Really?" Mina jumped out of bed, nearly knocking her head into Sana's from the haste.

Laughing, Sana held up a hand to slow down her friend. "I said she's _almost_ ready to leave. You have time to wake up a little. Brush your teeth maybe?" Sana suggested with a smile.

Mina nodded with a yawn. Waking up seemed to be a bit of a challenge for her this morning. "Thanks Sana, I'll be out soon."

"By the way, what were you dreaming about?" Sana asked. "You had a really big smile on your face when I came in. I thought you were already awake for a moment."

"Did I? I don't remember," Mina murmured, trying to grasp onto fragments of the disappearing dream. She vaugely felt that Sana might have been in her dream, but she couldn't remember anything else. As she racked her brain for a clue, Sana reached toward her and began to nonchalantly comb her fingers through Mina's hair. The moment Sana's fingers accidentally grazed the back of her neck, Mina shivered as the contents of the dream came back in full force.

"Whoops, sorry," Sana apologized, feeling Mina jump as she touched the back of Mina's neck. "Did that tickle you?" The younger girl turned away quickly, hoping that Sana hadn't noticed the faint blush now coloring her cheeks. "Anyway," Sana continued as Mina tried to discretely calm herself down, "I'll tell Tzuyu to wait for you, so take your time and get cleaned up first."

When Mina finally turned back to Sana, the older girl was watching her with a warm expression. Her eyes were glittering affectionately in a way that Mina had never seen before and it gave her goosebumps. Mina gulped, suddenly nervous to be caught under such an intense gaze. Their eyes remain locked for just a moment more before Sana gave her the subtlest smirk and turned toward the door. 

Once Sana left, Mina let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. She put a hand to her chest, feeling her heart racing a mile a minute. Sana's unreadable expression, that little smirk before she left... Was Mina just imagining things? It was almost like Sana had seen through Mina's dream, but that was impossible, wasn't it? 

Mina's cheeks flushed even redder as she continue to think about the dream she just remembered, an extremely explicit sex dream with Sana. Nothing would've been more embarrassing than to have Sana, her secret crush, learn what she was dreaming about. Mina shook her head vigorously as though she was trying to rid herself of the stressful thought. It wasn't the first time that had she dreamed about Sana like this, and it likely wouldn't be the last. But as long as her dreams remained private, Mina felt as though she could deal with the problem on her own.

The young girl sluggishly left her bed and went to the bathroom, trying to push any thoughts of Sana out of her mind. Mina knew that falling in love with her best friend was a bad idea, but it wasn't like her heart had much of a choice in the matter. When it came to her relationship with Sana, the lines of friendship and love seemed to bleed together until the threshold was a squiggly mess of gray.

Sana and Mina held hands and hugged on a regular basis. They occasionally kissed and often told each other they loved each other in both Korean and Japanese. It was all done platonically at first, but for Mina the meaning behind her actions toward Sana slowly changed from an innocent kind of friendship love to a confusing kind of romantic love.

To add to Mina's confusion, she and Sana even routinely changed in front of each other, bathed at bath houses and hot springs together, and even slept in the same bed when they were overseas. She had done more with Sana as a friend than what romantically involved couples their age might normally do, so in some ways it shouldn't have been a surprise to Mina that she would fall in love with someone as attractive and affectionate and as outgoing as Sana. The older girl embodied everything that Mina wished she could be. And it was because of this very reason that Mina thought her initial attraction to Sana was just admiration.

But then the dreams began.

The dreams were innocent in the beginning, with her earliest dreams of Sana showing them holding hands and hugging. They were so similar to reality that Mina found the dreams comforting at first, a reaffirmation that she really did care a great deal about Sana as a friend. But then about four months ago, right after their "What is Love?" promotions ended, her dreams began to heat up without warning. Soon she and Sana were kissing in her dreams, and then fondling in her dreams, and then undressing each other in her dreams, and then--

Mina splashed her face with cold water from the bathroom sink. It was probably best not to continue with her current train of thought. Not when Tzuyu was halfway out the door to start off their Chuseok holiday. The confused 21 year old began brushing her teeth.

Even though the explicit dreams of a half-naked Sana still tormented her sleep, Mina had more or less made up her mind about what she was going to do about the situation. Basically, she was planning to do nothing. She prided herself in being one of Twice's most level headed members. And where others might follow their hearts or do what felt right, Mina was content with doing what made sense: Twice was only in it's third year of activities and she wasn't about to put Twice's flawless teamwork in jeopardy over feelings that were probably as real as a schoolgirl crush.

Mina had done her best to treat Sana normally since the x-rated dreams began, waiting for a day to come where she didn't wake up yearning for Sana touch. It was difficult to endure Sana's hugs and kisses knowing that Sana's affections were platonic while hers were bordering on lustful, but Mina knew she would persevere and endure this crush until it passed. And the less that Sana knew about Mina's feelings in the meantime, the safer that Sana, Twice, and even Mina's heart would be.

"After all," Mina thought to herself, staring at her reflection in the mirror dejectedly, "why would someone as amazing as Sana fall in love with someone like me?"


	2. Strangest Gaze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast with a flustered Mina and flirty Sana :)

Mina finished brushing her teeth and burst into the living room. She skidded to a halt in front of Tzuyu, her penguin socks sliding across the smooth floor.

"Mina's like a penguin on ice!" she heard Momo say, and then she heard Sana's laughter in response. But Mina ignored them both and turned to Twice's maknae.

"Tzuyu, I'm sorry I didn't wake up early to make you breakfast like I promised! I should have set an alarm," Mina apologized to the towering girl. Tzuyu's family had traveled to Korea for this year's Chuseok, so Tzuyu would be spending the next few days with them.

Tzuyu smiled kindly, clearly unbothered. "It's OK, unnie. I could have woken you up if I wanted your pancakes, but I didn't have the heart to do it. Sana-unnie didn't mind though. She was like 'I don't care, I'm waking Mina up right now!'"

"Yah, it wasn't like that!" Sana complained, instantly objecting to Tzuyu's version of events. "I wanted to make sure she didn't miss you leaving!"

Sana and Tzuyu glared at each other playfully. And then Sana turned and winked at Mina. Outwardly Mina laughed with the others while inwardly her heart skipped a beat.

To hide the blush that was surely forming on her cheeks, Mina reached out and gave Tzuyu a hug. She could feel Sana watching her and so she glanced back and caught Sana smiling at them with a softness and wistfulness that she couldn't quite decipher. Mina met Sana's warm eyes for just a moment, finally catching the subtle note of sorrow in her gaze.

"What was that?" Mina wondered, surprised by Sana's uncharacteristic expression. Was Sana just sad to see Tzuyu leave? But a moment later, Sana looked away from Mina and returned to being her bubbly and cheerful self again. Sana bounced over to Tzuyu, giving their youngest a big hug and kiss. Together with Momo, they sent Tzuyu off on the three day Chuseok break with a smile.

"But what was that look?" Mina wondered, glancing over at Sana who was bickering and playing with Momo per usual. Although it was rare, Mina's heart ached at the sight of Sana feeling sad. But the subtle touch of sadness was gone now. Examining Sana's smiling face, Mina wondered if she had misread Sana's expression.

"Mina-ya," Sana said, disrupting the pensive girl's thoughts. Sana turned back with an outstretched hand beckoning to Mina. "Come on. Let's go make breakfast for the others."

Mina could feel her chest swell at the sight of Sana's genuine smile. Perhaps she had really imagined that look of sadness in Sana's expression after all. She reached out and linked hands with Sana, letting their warm fingers intertwine comfortably. Mina wondered if Sana could feel her heartbeat racing though their connected hands. The younger girl had asked herself this question every time they hugged or held hands over the last four months. But if Sana had noticed, she hadn't mentioned it. Hand in hand, with Mina's heart pounding in her chest, Sana and Mina headed into the kitchen to make breakfast.

Trying to cook in the Twice dorm was normally chaotic. Any cooking experiments resulted in nine people trying to cram themselves into a small kitchen to cook, taste, critique, and distract. But today, as the rest of the members were gone or busily preparing to leave for the long break, only the Japanese members currently occupied the kitchen. With the help of Sana and Momo bringing her ingredients and utensils, Mina was able to whip up a large batch of pancakes more quickly than usual.

"Edible!" Momo announced, taking a bite from the coolest pancake on the serving plate. Mina's cooking typically had a high success rate these days, especially for pancakes, but it never hurt to check. The hungry dancer piled a small mountain of pancakes onto her plate and headed to the table to eat.

"Good job, Mina," Sana smiled, proudly patting Mina on the head before following Momo to the table with a much smaller stack of pancakes on her plate. Mina turned back to the stove to finish cooking, very pleased by Momo and Sana's responses.

"Unnie, unnie, one to go please," Chaeyoung requested sweetly, rushing into the kitchen with a double arm load of things to pack into her suitcase. She leaned into Mina at the stove and opened her mouth for a pancake since her hands were too full to take one herself. Mina giggled fondly at their maknae and pushed one of the cooler pancakes into the younger girl's mouth.

"Fanks!" Chaeyoung mumbled at Mina brightly before waddling away with her pancake and belongings.

"Aaah, Mina makes AND feeds us pancakes now?" Sana cried, watching the exchange between Mina and Chaeyoung. "No fair, I want one too."

Sana skipped back over to Mina with puppy dog eyes and opened her mouth slightly. "Mittang, ahh~"

Mina's expression froze halfway between a smile and panic. With such an irresistibility sweet pose from Sana, Mina could feel her heart fluttering. If she could do anything she wanted in that moment without restraint, Mina would have kissed Sana full on her subtly pouting lips. At the very least, she would have traced the outline of Sana's mouth with her fingers so she could stop wondering how soft Sana's lips could be. 

"Stop it," Mina scolded herself. "Stop thinking of Sana like that. She's just your friend." But even as she ordered herself to be responsible, to stop crushing on Sana, Mina's heart wished that Sana could be her everything.

Not receiving the pancake she had requested, Sana decided to turn up her aegyo a notch by puffing out her cheeks and sticking out her lower lip in an adorably sad expression. "Can I please have a pancake? Please, Mina-ya~?"

Mina shoved a pancake quickly into Sana's mouth and turned away. The older girl bit down on her prize with a smile and bounced back over to the table.

"Thanks Mina-ya~!"

"Yeah, yeah," Mina mumbled, blushing furiously. She turned back to the stove and hoped that neither Momo or Sana noticed how red her face had become.

"How can you stand acting that cutely?" Momo asked Sana through a mouthful of pancake, frowning at Sana's aegyo in playful disgust.

Sana laughed. "You're one to talk, Momo. I saw you turning up the aegyo with Dahyunnie last night." The older girls laughed and continued eating, oblivious to Mina's reaction. 

"Feed me during dinner too, Mina-ya~!" the younger girl heard Sana say in a singsong voice behind her.

Mina's heart continued to flutter as she tried her hardest not too imagine how sweet it would be if she could spend the rest of her life feeding someone as cute as Sana.


	3. Hardest Decision

The Twice dorm was completely empty except for the Japanese members by the end of breakfast. Momo, Sana, and Mina said their goodbyes to all of the other members, leaving only the three of them to spend Chuseok alone at the dorm. The Korean members had invited the Japanese members to celebrate Chuseok with them, but Momo, Sana, and Mina politely declined, not wanting to inconvenience the members' families during the holidays. The three of them always stayed at the dorm during Chuseok anyway, and this year was no exception.

Mina was looking forward to spending a relaxing day in bed. Twice was so busy with schedules up until the day before Chuseok that this was their first rest day in a long time. On top of that, Mina was feeling a bit odd at the moment. Today, more than ever, Mina was finding it difficult to resist Sana's charms. Perhaps it was because the other members were gone now, but Sana seemed to be giving her extra attention and extra affection today. Normally she enjoyed Sana's attention, but after that vivid dream this morning...

Mina shivered, thinking about the intimacy they had shared in her dream. She was curled up in bed at the moment, hugging her penguin plushie for comfort. Reluctantly, Mina allowed her heart to mull over the "what if" scenarios with Sana that her brain had tried to ignore the last few months.

The young girl closed her eyes and imagined Sana as her girlfriend. She imagined playful shopping dates where they would hold hands and try on clothes with each other, and cafe dates where they would feed each other desserts. She imagined them holding hands while watching movies in the living room together or sharing a kiss while looking up at the stars. She imagined taking cute pictures of Sana and smiling as she looked at them later. She imagined just sitting with Sana and talking to her, cherishing Sana's beautiful laugh. She imagined the freedom of simply letting her heart melt whenever Sana smiled at her.

If they started dating, Mina could finally stop feeling guilty for thinking about Sana this way and start embracing the feeling in her heart that was surely love.

Mina rolled over on her stomach and buried her face in her pillow. It was an impossible dream. Mina knew herself and she wasn't one to take chances. How would a coward like herself ever find the courage to confess to anyone, much less to someone out of her league like Sana? Even if she was certain that Sana felt the same way, would she be able to tell Sana how she felt? In her heart, Mina knew that the answer was no.

"Maybe some music would help calm me down," Mina murmured to herself, trying to distance herself from her current train of thought. She reached for her phone and flipped through her music. She settled on "Someone Like Me", a low, sultry Twice song that Mina liked to listen to when she was in a pensive mood like now. As the song began to play from her phone's speaker, the bedroom door opened and Sana walked in.

"Naega geudael eolmana manhi wonhaneunji? / _Do you know how much I want you?_ " asked Mina's voice from the "Someone Like Me" recording.

Mina's heart leapt out of her chest when Sana, not missing a beat, asked her playfully, "No, how much do you want me?"

_"More than I should,"_ Mina thought to herself.

Tactfully ignoring the question, Mina sat up and patted an empty spot on her bed. Sana immediately climbed in next to Mina and threw her arms around Mina's neck in a hug. Sana rocked them back and forth to the song, and then she started to sing along, picking up from Jeongyeon's line.

"I sesange geu modeun susjarodo, nae maeumeun da pyohyeon an doeneungeol. / _Even with all the numbers in the world, my feelings can't be expressed._ "

Goosebumps formed on the back of Mina's arms as she admired the beauty of Sana's voice while being serenaded in her arms. She swallowed deeply when Sana let her go and smiled at her. Looking into Sana's glittering eyes, Mina knew that Sana was too bright for her. Or rather, it was more accurate to say that Mina didn't feel bright enough to be with Sana. Their personalities were just too different. Sana liked to be loud while Mina liked to be quiet. Sana could always put a positive spin on things, whereas Mina was always quick to focus on the realistic negatives. Could a relationship even succeed with such opposite personalities?

"Come on Mina, let's go out and play with Momo," Sana suggested cheerfully, oblivious to Mina's inner struggles. "We can go shopping and get some lunch."

Mina tried hard not to think about the cute shopping dates with Sana that she had fantasized about just a few minutes ago. Her heart was aching for Sana more than usual today, and it was getting harder and harder for Mina to suppress her feelings. It was probably best for her to put a little distance between them right now.

"I'm not in the mood to go out today," Mina said truthfully. "You and Momo should go have fun though."

Sana looked surprised. "Eh? But you'll be here by yourself if we leave. If you don't want to go shopping, we could do something else like go to the arcade or watch a movie."

Mina shook her head, trying to ignore the look of disappointment on Sana's face. "Sorry Sana, I kind of had my heart set on spending the day here."

Sana's brow furrowed with concern. "But everyone else is gone... Are you sure you won't be lonely here by yourself?" she asked Mina, switching over to Japanese. The J-Line members liked to speak in Japanese whenever they talked about something that was serious in nature. Casual conversations were held in Korean so that the other members could join in. But in order to exercise their Japanese on a regular basis, they tried to use their native language for their more personal conversations with each other.

But Mina didn't think this conversation was serious enough to warrant the use of Japanese though, so she answered Sana in Korean. She smiled softly, acknowledging Sana's concern for her. "Don't worry about me, Sana-ya. Really, I'll be fine here. You and Momo go have fun."

Sana frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? We can do whatever you want today. We'll even get some yukhoe for lunch. Your favorite!" she said in Japanese, trying to entice the younger girl with something irresistible.

Sana's shining eyes were silently pleading for Mina to change her mind and accept the invitation, which only made Mina feel worse for trying to avoid Sana right now. But the situation wasn't as simple as "hang out or not hang out". It was a matter of keeping her feelings in check, of not letting an overwhelming desire for Sana ruin their important friendship.

"Maybe we should all just stay in today," Sana murmured quietly, deep in thought.

Mina finally decided to switch over to Japanese in an attempt to comfort the older girl. "Why so serious, Sattang?" she asked with a smile, patting the disappointed girl on the head gently. "I'll be OK here on my own. You know I like being by myself sometimes." Mina poked Sana's pouting cheeks lightly. "You and Momo go have fun. Next time I promise I'll go out with you guys. Well do it tomorrow, OK? The timing just isn't right today."

Mina smiled with relief when she saw the older girl's pout start to soften. "Thank you for worrying about me so much, Sattang. I really appreciate it. I love you," she told Sana, using the Japanese word "suki" to covey her feelings. It was equivalent to the "saranghae" that they and the members always said to each other in Korean to express their familial love for each other.

Sana sighed and finally smiled back at Mina. "I don't know why I put up with you," she teased affectionately. "I love you, too," Sana said, using the same "suki" that Mina had used. The older girl got up and switched back to Korean to indicate that their serious conversation was over. "Momo and I will be in the area all afternoon, so call us if you change your mind."

Sana gazed at Mina with her eyes full of affection. She was smiling, but the cheerfulness didn't quite reach her eyes, which shined with that same indescribable hint of sadness that Mina had been unable to identify all day.

_"Ask her what she's feeling,"_ Mina told herself. _"Ask her why she's sad!"_ But Mina just swallowed guiltily for refusing Sana's request to hang out, from the shame of harboring an all-consuming love for Sana, and said nothing.

With one final sigh about the situation, Sana leaned down and placed a light kiss on Mina's forehead. "And I'm sorry for worrying about you so much. It just makes my heart ache when I think about you being alone."

And then Sana turned away and left their bedroom. The younger girl reached up and gently touched the warmth on her forehead. Mina's heart pounded painfully in her chest, making her wonder whether she was handling her confusing feelings for Sana in the correct way or not. And she wondered if Sana's heart ached for her the same way that her heart ached for Sana.


	4. Saddest Discovery

After Momo and Sana went out to go shopping, Mina found herself flipping through a large stack of magazines that Nayeon had left by her bed during Nayeon's attempts to "organize" her belongings. The magazines all featured interviews by Twice throughout their career. Mina cringed with embarrassment while looking at some of their earlier photoshoots.

She flipped through the magazines in chronological order, nostalgically following Twice's evolution through time. She could see the members' faces maturing with each photoshoot and she could feel the members' friendships with each other deepening when they spoke about each other in the interview sections.

Mina focused on the pictures of Sana the most, of course, musing to herself that Sana was one of the members whose face changed the most since debut. The older girl had lost the baby fat in her adorably chubby cheeks. Sana's eyes were still as bright as ever, but she had gained a smoldering kind of maturity in her gaze that perfectly captured the cutie-sexy nickname that Sana had used since debut. Mina bit her lower lip as she looked at Sana's pictures from the August 2017 edition of Vivi magazine. Sana was definitely prettier in real life, but she was incredibly beautiful in this photoshoot as well.

 _"I want to see you,"_ Mina thought to herself, gazing into Sana's powerful eyes. Even though it was just a picture, she could feel her heart beating faster. But what would she do when Sana returned later? Continue to pretend like Sana was just a friend? Act like Sana's gazes and touches did nothing to her when in reality she could set their dorm ablaze with the desire in her heart?

Mina sighed heavily, annoyed by her own cowardice. If only she could be more like Sana, braver and more affectionate, maybe one day she would be able to admit her feelings to Sana. She sighed again and turned the page. Mina found herself looking at the interview section. In this particular magazine, two members each described another member in the interviews, and Sana was one of the two members who described Mina. The young girl read through Sana's response:

_"If you compare Mina with an animal, she's a penguin. She has loneliness in her so she follows humans like penguins. She has to have someone beside her. Should I say that she gives me vibes to protect her?"_

It was an incredibly accurate description of how Sana usually treated her. Sana was always by her side, taking care of her and protecting her even when Mina didn't even know she needed the care or protection. Mina also biasedly felt that Sana treated her more gently than she treated any other member of Twice. Whereas Sana was quite playful and aggressive when showing her affection to the others, Sana always treated Mina like a precious treasure. Sana even babied her more than she babied their maknae Tzuyu. Mina smiled as she thought of Sana's fondness for her. Even though they were only friends, Sana's love made her feel warm and safe.

Mina read Sana's response one more time. _"Should I say that she gives me vibes to protect her?"_ Mina wondered how in the world she was giving off vibes of needing protection. Prior to realizing that she liked Sana, Mina didn't think she treated Sana any differently than she treated the other Twice members. She was suddenly curious what the vibes she supposedly sent out looked like.

Mina picked up her phone and opened YouTube. She knew that their Once were very good at compiling clips of just about everything imaginable related to Twice. They compiled funny moments and savage moments, and even obscure things like the members sneezing or Momo doing her circle gesture. If Mina was giving off vibes to Sana, someone had surely captured those moments as well. 

She searched for "Mina and Sana" and a long list of compilation videos and fan MVs jumped out at her. Mina began watching the videos and she smiled nostalgically as familiar memories came back to her. She saw the food truck her fans gave her on her first birthday after joining Twice and saw how Sana hugged her so warmly when she cried. She watched Sana covering her with an umbrella during a snowy winter fan meet and poking her cheek with mischievous affection.

She saw Sana reach out to her again and again on different occasions, waiting for her to arrive and hold hands before leading her away. There were dozens of videos of them playing around and giggling with each other during random fan signs. All the soft forehead kisses that Sana gave her during TT performances were compiled as well. Mina smiled affectionately at the look of pure adoration in Sana's eyes during each of those kisses.

There were so many hugging moments, hand holding moments, and kisses that took place during performances, fan signs, variety shows, vlives, and even behind the scenes when they were just walking around and thought no one was filming. Considering that Mina was not as physically affectionate as the other members, she was surprised by how much content their Once had captured for her and Sana.

Mina watched a fancam of herself crying at their first solo concert. She saw for the first time how preciously Sana cradled her until the tears stopped, how protectively Sana held onto her even afterwards, and the video made her chest feel tight with gratitude. She saw Sana offering her a bouquet during the last day of their first concerts, placing a kiss on Mina's cheek after Mina accepted the flowers on bended knee. Mina's heart fluttered at the scene and she regretted not savoring that moment fully when it happened.

And then Mina found a video of Sana running to her during a Signal fan sign. Mina remembered this moment in particular, of a cheerful Sana running up to her out of the blue when she was standing off to the side. Mina had never seen this video before, but she remembered the feeling of warmth and joy when Sana gave her that long hug while they slowly turned on the spot in a circle. She smiled as she watched the loving gesture, but then something unusual caught Mina's eye. Sana's expression during that hug... 

Mina replayed the video of the hug and was surprised to find that the expression matched the one she had seen on Sana's face all day, the faint smile tinged with an undescribable shadow of sadness. It should have been a happy hug, so why was Sana's smile mingled with sadness again...?

And then Mina had a moment of clarity as she realized the word to describe Sana's expression: it was loneliness.

Mina lowered her phone for a minute and fiddled with the invisible puzzle pieces in her brain. She never would have thought that their bubbly, energetic, affectionate Sana could be lonely. But Sana was an old child. In fact, she was the only only-child of their team. Given Sana's outgoing and loving personality, Mina wondered whether it was lonely for Sana to grow up without siblings. Maybe Mina was overanalyzing it, but it made sense that Sana was so affectionate with the members now, perhaps in order to make up for years of not having siblings to love and care for.

And it also made sense why Sana was so sad when the members rejected her affections, why it made her so happy when her affections were accepted and returned. Perhaps Sana was fighting off her loneliness all this time, and no one ever realized it. If the others members only knew, Mina was sure they would stop avoiding Sana's frequent kisses and hugs.

Mina looked back through the Mina/Sana videos again, this time focusing on Sana's expressions in an attempt to find more evidence to support her loneliness theory. Her original goal of finding the vibes she supposedly gave off to Sana was forgotten.

After rewatching a handful of videos, Mina made another startling, gut-wrenching observation: it was Sana who almost always initiated their skinship. It was Sana who gave her warm and comforting hugs, it was Sana who reached toward her to take her hand, it was Sana who held her from behind in protective backhugs, and it was Sana who always, always gave her kisses. 

Mina felt a knot of guilt growing in the pit of her stomach. Mina knew she was bad at skinship, but she never realized that the physical affection with Sana was as one-sided as this. Had Sana ever picked up on the fact that Mina rarely ever reached out to her first? 

An hour passed and then two, and Mina was still on her phone trying to absorb all the 2na/Misana content that she could find. A heavy feeling hung over Mina's heart, heavier than the burden of harboring a secret love for her best friend. Never in their four years of friendship had Mina ever wanted to see Sana as badly as she did right now. She wanted to apologize to Sana for her selfishness, for not realizing Sana's loneliness sooner. And more than anything, she wanted to hug Sana and start making up for an entire friendship of one-sided affection.

Mina wished that she had gone out with Sana and Momo this afternoon, just like Sana had wanted, and she wished she could erase Sana's disappointed face from her memory right now. Mina picked up her cellphone and thought of calling Sana and Momo to ask them to come back to the dorm, but then decided against it; she didn't want Sana to worry about her.

The empty Twice dorm suddenly felt scary and lonely, and Mina suddenly realized that this was exactly the feeling that Sana was trying to protect her from today.

Mina felt like an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much longer will Mina sulk about Sana and do nothing? Not long, I swear. XD See you next chapter!
> 
> Vivi Magazine - Aug 2017 Translation  
> https://onehallyu.com/topic/490581-the-official-twice-magazine-interviews-compilation-thread/page-2#entry22218105


	5. Loneliest Person

It was nighttime when Mina woke up. She didn't even remember falling asleep, but clearly it must have happened while she waited for Sana and Momo to return. Checking her cellphone, Mina jumped up in surprise when she saw that it was just past 6pm. How had she managed to take such a long nap?

"Momo-ya? Sana-ya?" Mina called out, expecting to hear some kind of reply from the others who should have returned by now. She was met with an eerie silence.

Mina finally got out of bed and wandered into the hallway. The dorm was completely dark and quiet, making it unlikely that Momo and Sana were home yet. As Mina made her way to the living room, she noticed that there were takeout containers sitting on the sofa, completely uneaten and unopened. A discarded jacket sat nearby. Someone was home right now, but where? 

As Mina started to wander away to check the rest of the dorm, she noticed that a single person was standing out on the balcony with her head turned up at the sky. Mina knew instantly that the motionless figure that stood with her hands clasped loosely behind her back was Sana. Without even seeing her face, Mina was certain that Sana's expression was soft and melancholic, like it always was when Sana gazed at the stars.

The young girl quietly approached the balcony door and paused to look at Sana's profile. The older girl was so beautiful in the pale moonlight that Mina felt like she could stand there and watch Sana forever. But the solemn expression on Sana's face made Mina's heart ache. What was Sana thinking about as she stood by herself under the cold night sky? Mina desperately wanted to know what was on the older girl's mind. She desperately wanted to reach out to Sana and make her sadness go away, to protect Sana as much as Sana had been protecting her.

Mina saw Sana shiver slightly in the darkness, and she realized that Sana wasn't wearing a jacket. Her warm breath was visible in the cold autumn air.

"She's crazy," Mina thought, instantly rushing to her room to fetch a coat and earmuffs for herself. She picked up Sana's coat, which lay on the living room sofa, and then headed out to the balcony.

"Mina-ya?" Sana asked, turning toward her the moment she heard the balcony door open. Her expression brightened as Mina stepped outside and offered her the jacket.

"What are you doing outside without a coat? You're gonna freeze out here," Mina scolded the older girl.

"Waaah, Mina's mad at me. How scary!" Sana joked, quickly putting on the jacket. "Thanks for bringing my coat. I forgot to grab it earlier."

"Why are you out here by yourself?" Mina asked again. She put her hands into her pockets to protect them from the cold and came across an unused heat pack. Mina snapped it to activate it and then pressed it into Sana's hand. The older girl's fingers were like ice, earning her a reproving frown from Mina. "How long have you been out here?"

The happy smile never left Sana's face. "About half an hour maybe? I was just watching the stars a bit. Just trying to clear my head."

"But you can see the stars from inside, too. You know, where it's not so cold?"

Sana's eyes crinkled with affection and Mina felt her chest tighten almost painfully as she tried to ignore how beautiful Sana looked in that moment. The older girl handed her back the heat pack, keeping their fingers clasped as she did so. "Here, hold on to this then. I feel warmer already now that you brought me my jacket."

A warm smile danced on Sana's lips. "Do you want to look at the stars with me?"

Without waiting for a response, Sana turned her face back up to the night sky. The dark expanse was dotted with the glow of a billion stars. It was indescribably beautiful, and Mina would have called it a perfect night if not for the fact that Sana's expression turned melancholic again the moment she looked up at the sky. Mina knew that Sana often used stargazing as a way to relieve stress, so she wanted to figure out what was troubling Sana now.

The older girl's fingers remained frozen even as Mina held them with the heat pack pressed between them. Trying to protect Sana further from the cold, the younger girl took off her earmuffs and put them on Sana from behind, startling the older girl slightly. Sana giggled when she realized what Mina was doing.

"It's like what Dahyun did to you in the 'What is Love?' music video," Sana mused. "Remember?"

 _"Wouldn't you fall in love with Mina if she did that to you?"_ Mina remembered Sana asking the audience during the "What is Love?" showcase a few months ago, right after Mina and Dahyun reenacted the scene where Dahyun placed a pair of headphones over Mina's ears. Soon after Mina realized that she liked Sana, she had toyed with the idea of confessing to Sana by placing a pair of headphones on Sana as well, hoping that Sana meant it when she said that the action was capable to making someone fall in love with her.

And now here she was, inadvertently reenacting that very scene with Sana. Mina had given Sana the earmuffs with the sole intention of keeping her warm, but the younger girl realized that she was subconsciously teetering over the brink of telling Sana that she was in love with her. And despite all the fears she had wrestled with over the past few months, Mina couldn't pull herself away from this moment.

"...let's watch the stars together," Mina agreed, earning herself a delighted smile from Sana. Her heart beat furiously under Sana's warm gaze. It made Mina happy to see that she could light up Sana's face so easily, but it also made her feel even worse for declining Sana's request earlier. She could have made Sana so much happier just by accepting the invitation to hang out with her and Momo earlier today.

"Eh?" Mina realized, looking around the balcony. "Where's Momo?"

Sana's expression faltered ever so slightly. Mina felt like she would have missed that subtle shift in Sana's eyes under normal circumstances, but she was watching Sana very intently right now.

"Momo ended up accepting Nayeon-unnie's invitation after all. She's staying with Nayeon-unnie's family during Chuseok."

"Eh? So suddenly? What happened?" Mina wondered.

"While we were shopping this afternoon, Nayeon-unnie shared pictures in the group chat of the food her family was preparing and invited the three of us to stay with her again. Momo decided to accept the invitation, so she packed up and left a little while ago." Sana explained all of this so matter-of-factly that Mina wasn't entirely sure how Sana felt about the situation.

"Are you mad at Momo for leaving unexpectedly like that?" Mina asked her gently.

"Hm..." Sana wondered. "I don't think I'm mad at her. After all, the three of us didn't make any particular promises or plans with each other for Chuseok. We always just happen to stay at the dorm together, but it's not like we're obligated to be here." She paused for a moment. "I think Momo felt guilty about going to Nayeon-unnie's house though."

"Why do you say that?" Mina asked.

"Because she didn't want to wake you up to say goodbye when she left," Sana replied. "She always says goodbye to us when she takes a trip back to Japan without us, even when it means waking us up to do it. But she was adamant about not waking you up just now for this three day trip."

"Ah..." Mina felt like Sana had a point. She could see Momo feeling bad for changing her plans at the last minute.

"I don't understand why she feels bad though," Sana continued. She turned her gaze back up to the starry night sky. "It's not like she abandoned us or anything. She's free to do what she wants. We could have stayed at the members' houses too or traveled back to Japan if we wanted, but we both chose to stay here."

Sana was wearing that look again, the same expression of sadness and wistfulness that Mina had noticed on Sana's face while Tzuyu and Mina hugged this morning. It was the same as the look she had on her face when Mina refused to hang out this afternoon. It was unmistakeably a look of loneliness.

A wave of guilt washed over Mina. The only reason Sana felt lonely right now was because Sana was too nice to go somewhere more fun and leave Mina on her own.

"Would you have stayed at the dorm during Chuseok if I wasn't here?" Mina blurted out in Japanese. She suddenly felt ashamed by her introverted nature that kept her from being as socially outgoing as Sana. "You would have gone to Dahyunnie's or Jungyeonie's or someone else's house for Chuseok, right?"

"Maybe," Sana agreed in Japanese after a few moments of thought. "But that's not the case, right? You're here, and I wanted to spend Chuseok with you."

"Then you're stuck here because I'm here," concluded a very sulky Mina.

Sana laughed at Mina affectionately, wrapping her arms briefly around Mina's neck in a comforting hug. "It's not like that at all. If I ask myself, 'Would I rather spend time with Dahyun and Jeongyeon this Chuseok or would I rather spend time with Mina this Chuseok?', my answer is definitely you. I love spending time with you, Mittang. You're funny and kind and smart, and everything you do makes me happy."

Mina blushed and looked down, pleased to hear Sana praise her so warmly. She felt Sana's hand pat her affectionately on the head.

"And yes," Sana continued, "I also stayed here because I didn't want you to be lonely here by yourself. But I can't help it. Loneliness is..." she paused for a moment, her brow furrowed, to find the right word. "...it's scary, isn't it?" she murmured softly.

Mina raised her head and saw Sana's softened gaze drift back up to the stars for a moment before turning back to Mina's with a sincere expression.

"The loneliness I felt before you and Twice came into my life... Even if you would only feel it for a second, I just wanted to protect you from that loneliness with all my heart." Sana cringed slightly at herself, realizing she was becoming too deep with her thoughts. "Anyway, please don't be upset about it, OK Mittang~! I stayed because I care about you."

How did Mina never realize the depth of Sana's loneliness? It was staring her in the face all this time, yet Mina couldn't see past Sana's surface-level smiles. Perhaps the reason why Sana always saw through Mina's loneliness and tried to protect her from it was because it took a lonely person to recognize a lonely person. And perhaps the reason why Sana gave out so much affection was because she was looking for someone to return that affection to her as well.

Was Mina delusional in thinking that this "someone" was her? Sana was always looking out for her and protecting her, giving her more love and attention than she could ever need. Sana was just naturally kind like this and she was affectionate to all the members, but was it possible that Mina was someone special to Sana, perhaps as someone who was more than just a friend?

"Are you lonely, Sattang?" Mina asked the older girl gently.

Sana smiled and hugged Mina tightly. "The stars were keeping me company before you got here. And now that I have you, how could I be lonely?"

Uwah, it was too much. Mina felt like her heart would burst if she didn't confess to Sana right now. She didn't know when such a perfect opportunity might come up again. Alone under the stars, discussing their feelings for each other while locked in a hug, this was the first time since falling in love with Sana that Mina thought there was a real chance of Sana returning her feelings.

Mina took a deep breath and looked into her heart to find the courage that she lacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is the "What Is Love?" vlive where Sana asks "Wouldn't you fall for Mina if she did that?" See 1:04:50 mark!**  
>  https://www.vlive.tv/video/65838


	6. Sincerest Confession

With Sana's arms wrapped around her, Mina tried to steady her racing heart. Mina was scared of having her confession rejected, but at the same time she knew that Sana would always be her friend even if she didn't feel the same way. It might be painful and awkward at first if Sana rejected her, but Mina knew they could get past the awkwardness with time if it happened. Drawing on Sana's hug for strength, Mina gathered every bit of courage she had and went for it.

"Sattang..." Mina said in a shaky voice, clinging to Sana tightly. "Sattang suki desu." _Sana, I love you._

Mina's heart thudded painfully in her chest as she laid her feelings out in the open for Sana to see. Her legs felt like jelly and Mina wondered if she could keep herself standing long enough to hear Sana's reply. Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long at all.

"I love you, too," Sana immediately replied, cheerfully using the same "suki" that Mina used.

It was a surreal experience for Mina to hear Sana accept her confession. It was like watching her wildest dreams come to life and Mina's heart feel light and full of joy. But her feelings crashed back to the ground a moment later when she realized that Sana didn't understand what she had said. The two of them frequently told each other "I love you" in a platonic way in both Japanese and Korean. In fact, Sana had said "suki / I love you" to Mina earlier in the afternoon, so it should've been expected for Sana to mistake Mina's love confession as an expression of platonic love.

Sure enough, when Mina pulled back from the hug, Sana's usual smile confirmed that she hadn't received the message properly. Mina smiled a bit wryly at the misunderstanding. There were many ways to express love in Japanese, so Mina tried to confess again using a deeper form of the expression.

"Sattang, you don't understand... I really love you," Mina said, using the Japanese word "daisuki" to convey her feelings this time.

Sana laughed, still not understanding that this was a love confession and not their usual familial love expressions even though the "daisuki" that Mina used described a deeper love than "suki". "I really love you too," Sana repeated, seemingly unaffected by Mina's new word choice.

How ironic that their close friendship was suddenly making it difficult for Mina to confess properly. She would have laughed at the situation if her heart wasn't currently trying to jump out of her chest with anxiety. The Japanese language made it difficult for even native speakers to differentiate between like and love, so Mina dug through her Japanese vocabulary for a surefire way to get her meaning across.

"...Sattang," Mina tried again. She reached out and gently caressed Sana's cheek with her hand. The older girl's eyes fluttered shut with delight at the feel of Mina's touch, the warm reaction giving Mina the strength she needed to be brave. "Aishiteru yo." _I love you._

It was an expression of deep love between lovers, something that mere friends would never say to each other. Non-native Japanese speakers liked to use "aishiteru" far too causally to say "I love you," but it was the kind of phrase that native Japanese speakers would rarely ever say even to a spouse.

Sana's eyes snapped opened when she heard Mina use "aishiteru". The phrase was stronger in meaning than what Mina wanted to say, but it was still an appropriate phrase for her feelings. And as Sana stared at her with wide eyes full of surprise, Mina knew her message had finally been received.

To Mina, it seemed like an eternity passed before Sana reacted. And to her relief, the older girl slowly covered her mouth with her hands, looking quite pleased. At the very least, this meant that Sana was not disgusted by Mina's feelings. But as to whether or not Sana felt the same, Mina still had no idea. Sana's wide eyes were glittering as she stared at Mina. The older girl looked so ethereal in the moonlight that Mina could hardly breathe. Mina just stood there, frozen by Sana's beauty and by the fear of whether Sana would accept her feelings or not.

"Thank you..." Sana whispered. She touched Mina's cheek affectionately in return and Mina felt the most wonderful shiver run down her spine. She closed her eyes and pushed her cheek deeper into Sana's palm, imagining that warmth every day. The tenderness of Sana's touch made her want to cry.

"Mina, I... I heard you say my name in your sleep this morning," the older girl admitted.

Mina's eyes open in surprise and she looked at Sana with embarrassed confusion. "Eh? Did I really?"

Sana nodded with a soft smile. "I knew you were dreaming about me and it made me so happy to know that I was in your heart. It was really more than I could ever hope for."

Sana kissed Mina on the forehead. Mina's cheeks were burning with embarrassment now as she tried to guess if Sana knew that her dream this morning was a sex dream. But regardless, Sana was happy that Mina was dreaming of her. 

"Really, thank you so much for saying you're in love with me, Mina, but you don't have to go that far for me," Sana said softly, pulling her hand back from Mina's cheek.

"Eh?" Mina asked, confused by the conversation's sudden change in direction. Mina thought, or at least hoped, that Sana was on the brink of accepting her confession. But now she couldn't understanding what Sana was telling her.

"'Aishiteru' is a phrase used between lovers, isn't it?" Sana explained gently. "It's not meant to be used by friends like us."

_'Friends like us'._ The weight of Sana's words was devastating. The pain hit Mina right in the chest and she struggled to hold back the urge to cry.

"Sana... are you rejecting me?"

Mina's eyes grew hot and she looked down, not wanting Sana to see her tears. But before she actually began crying, she heard a strangled cry from Sana. To her surprise, when Mina looked up, she saw that Sana was crying first.

"I'm not rejecting you. I would never do that to you, Mittang..."

Mina was utterly confused now. "Then... What are you saying?"

Sana's face contorted with anguish. "Don't say 'aishiteru' if you don't mean it. You're not in love with me... How could you be in love with someone like me?"

_'How could you be in love with someone like me.'_ Sana said it with such painful disbelief that it struck a chord in Mina's heart. Mina couldn't remember the last time she saw Sana looking so vulnerable, so unable to understand how physically and soulfully beautifully she was. It was heartbreaking to see her favorite person thinking poorly of herself; but then again, Mina often did the same thing to herself as well. Perhaps they were more alike than Mina thought, and the realization was soothing to her.

Sana covered her face with her hands and cried freely, letting out her tears and insecurities all at once. Forgetting her own pain from having her confession rejected, Mina gently took hold of Sana's hands and tried to pull them away from Sana's face.

"But it's true, Sattang. I really am in love with you," Mina said softly, trying to console the person she loved. She placed her arms around Sana's sobbing form and hugged her gently. "And what do you mean 'someone like me'? Don't you realize that it's the easiest thing in the world to fall in love with you?"

"But there's so many things to hate about me," Sana murmured. She finally lowered her hands and looked at Mina seriously. "I'm so needy and clingy. I can't ever bear to be alone. And I'm such a coward. I couldn't even be the one to confess my feelings to you first!"

Mina's heart fluttered at the small fragment of hope Sana gave her by implying that she had feelings for Mina as well. But right now, Mina didn't want to focus on that. Her arms tightened instinctively around Sana and she felt Sana cling to her, the older girl's head buried into her shoulder. Mina wanted to focus on relieving all the worries she never realized that Sana held in her heart.

Whispering gently into Sana's ear, she murmured to Sana that she loved Sana's clinginess and all the physical affection she gave, and that it shouldn't be viewed as a negative trait. Mina explained about watching videos of their past interactions and realizing that she had never taken care of Sana as well as Sana had cared for her. Mina told her to never feel like she was being needy because Sana deserved all the care in the world, and Mina pledged to take care of Sana better in the future whether they began dating or not.

The tears finally seemed to subside after several minutes of Mina's calming and reassuring whispers, indicated by Sana's sobs being replaced by irregular hiccups as the older girl tried to regain control of her breathing. Mina rubbed her back soothingly.

"And about being alone," Mina murmured, trying to assuage Sana's third concern about herself. "Sometimes I can't bear to be alone either and there's nothing wrong with that. It's OK to rely on other people to stop feeling lonely. 'Loneliness is scary, isn't it?'" Mina said, quoting what Sana had said a few moments ago.

Mina felt Sana nod slightly, the first response Sana had given to Mina's reassuring words. "Sattang... are you lonely?" Mina asked softly, realizing that Sana hadn't given her a proper answer to this question a few minutes ago. Mina felt her heart break when Sana nodded into her shoulder again. 

The tears began anew for Sana, her sorrowful sobs echoing in the otherwise peaceful night. Mina held back her own tears, putting all her effort into ridding Sana of her loneliness. But in the back of her mind, Mina felt that Sana's loneliness somehow made her love Sana even more.

"Don't be sad, Sattang. Don't be lonely. I'll be here with you always."

Wiping her tears away in the moonlight under the stars, Mina gently whispered the words over and over into Sana's ears, waiting for Sana to stop crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saying I love you in Japanese is seriously complicated. Click below for more details!  
> https://nihongoshark.com/how-to-say-i-love-you-in-japanese/


	7. Deepest Trust

Mina quietly led a dazed Sana back into the dorm once the older girl's tears finally subsided again. She sat Sana down on the sofa and draped a blanket over her shoulders. The younger girl climbed under the blanket as well, trying to use her hands to warm up Sana's frozen fingers. As Mina peered into Sana's tear-stained face, she smiled wryly and noted that Sana looked quite sullen for someone who had just received a love confession.

At this point though, Mina didn't even care about Sana accepting her feelings. She just wanted to stop Sana from being sad. Mina was surprised by Sana's lack of self-confidence, at her inability to believe that Mina could have fallen in love with her. But if anyone could understand the feeling of not being good enough to receive another person's love, it was Mina.

"Do you know why I love you?" Mina asked Sana softly.

Sana sniffled, her eyes downcast. She avoided Mina's gaze and shook her head no.

"It's because you have the most beautiful heart out of anyone I've ever met. You're so kind and considerate and affectionate, Sattang. You look out for me, you take care of me, and you accept me for all my flaws, too.

Before I thought about confessing to you, I used to think 'there's no way Sana could fall in love with someone like me'. You were always too perfect in my eyes. Too different from me. You're energetic where I'm calm. You're romantic where I'm practical. But when you asked me how I could love with 'someone like you', it made me happy to know that you thought the same way as me."

Sana finally raised her head and looked at Mina. Her sorrowful eyes softened a bit as she gazed at Mina upon hearing the younger girl pointing out their similarities. With Sana's attention trained on her at last, Mina confessed again clearly. "Minatozaki Sana, aishiteru yo. I love you as more than just a friend."

Tears started to form in Sana's eyes as the older girl allowed herself to indulge in the briefest smile at Mina's words. But a moment later Sana's face crumbled with confliction. Sana opened her mouth to speak but hesitated, biting down on her lower lip. She tried to speak a second time, and her voice and her courage failed her again.

Mina shook her head and squeezed Sana's hands reassuringly. "If you don't love me back, it doesn't change anything between us, Sattang. I still love you as a friend and I'll never leave you. It honestly makes me happy to know that I'm in your heart, too. That's enough for me."

Mina was behaving more strongly than she ever thought she could be. Perhaps because Sana had already hinted at not being able to confess her feelings to Mina while on the balcony, but Mina felt bold right now. Sana, who always protected her and cared for her, was finally in need of someone else's care for a change, and Mina was more than happy to oblige.

"Mittang," Sana murmured. "I--" Her voice was thick with emotion. She struggled to get any more words out, so Mina placed a single finger on Sana's lips to let her know that it was OK not to talk.

"You don't have to say anything," Mina said gently. She placed a light kiss to Sana's forehead, wondering to herself if this was the first time she had ever given Sana a kiss like this. "It was selfish of me, but I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. It's OK for you not to answer me."

"It's not OK!" Sana burst out angrily. The sudden reaction startled Mina and she let go of Sana's hand.

"Sana--"

The older girl looked at her with a determined expression. "It's not OK for me to say nothing, because... because, I love you too!" Sana admitted. She shook her head gently, her eyes already wavering from the confession. "...But I'm scared. I don't want to lose you if this doesn't work out." 

Mina's heart swelled in her chest and she bit back a teary laugh because Sana's fears were her fears too. Their hearts were closer than Mina ever thought possible

"Then be scared with me, Sana, because I'm scared of the exact same thing." She placed her fingertips against Sana's cheeks, frowning slightly when Sana flinched at the touch. "You don't have to be scared by yourself."

"It's not that easy though," Sana mumbled. She got up from the sofa and went over to the sliding glass door. The stars were visible from where she stood, and Sana turned up to look at them, basking in their glow in an attempt to calm herself down. "If I let myself love you and you hurt me..." she whispered, her back turned to Mina. "If anything happened and I was the one who hurt _YOU_..." Sana's voice cracked and she paused. "I don't want to hurt you, Mittang. I couldn't bear it if I ever hurt you."

"Are you so scared of hurting me that you won't give us a chance?" Mina asked. She quietly crossed the living room so that she stood behind the older girl. Sana stared at Mina through the reflection in the glass, unable to turn herself around to face the person she loved. "Don't you think that you and I are worth the risk?"

Sana couldn't answer that question. "I don't know, Mina. I've gone back and forth about my feelings for you for so long now that I don't even know what I think anymore."

They fell silent for several moments, allowing their reflections to stare at each other in lieu of words. Mina didn't want to let the conversation end there though. She felt like she would have accepted Sana's rejection if Sana hadn't felt the same way about her. But Mina refused to accept Sana's fear as the reason why Sana was holding herself back.

"There's a lot of things that I don't know or that I don't understand about my feelings for you, too," Mina admitted softly, stepping closer to Sana from behind. She hesistantly wrapped her arms around Sana in a backhug, moving slowly to avoid startling Sana and to give the other girl time to move away if she wanted to. But Sana remained still and Mina embraced her fully, resting her chin comfortably onto Sana's shoulder.

"There are somethings that I do know, though," Mina continued. "I know that when I'm sad or I'm having a hard time, you always notice and you'll give me a hug that makes me feel better even when I don't ask you for one. I know that when you wake me up in the morning with a forehead kiss, I have a better morning than on days where I wake up on my own. I know that whenever you hold my hand, my heart starts to race and I have to pray that you don't notice it happening."

Mina saw Sana smiling gently through the reflection in the glass, and she could feel her pulse quickening already.

"I've never noticed that about you, Mina," the older girl admitted. She stared at Mina's reflection with a humbled expression. "Do I really make your heart race like that?"

"All the time," Mina replied with a soft smile. "And sometimes when I think about you... it feels like someone's squeezing my chest so tightly that I can't breathe anymore, like I'm going to suffocate because I love you so much and there's nothing I can do about it."

Sana nodded slowly, turning around at last, finally looking into Mina's eyes directly. "...it's the same for me, too. Does it feel like you're going crazy sometimes? Like you think about me so much that you can't tell what's real or not anymore? Does being in love with me hurt so much sometimes that you want to cry?"

Mina blinked in surprise at how accurately Sana's descriptions matched her own emotions. Without waiting for her response, Sana slowly reached out and touched Mina's cheek with her fingers. Even though Sana's fingers were still ice-cold from standing outside for too long, it felt like a bolt of lightning shot through her body from their point of contact. Every one of Mina's senses were heightened right now. Every emotion felt raw and intense. 

The younger girl nodded and swallowed thickly, her eyes focused entirely on Sana's. "Does it feel like your heart is on fire right now? That even though you can't believe it, you just want to let yourself trust me and believe that I really am in love you?"

Sana whimpered in agreement and the sound threatened to break Mina's heart. There was an expression of longing on Sana's face that that mirrored the one in Mina's soul. The world fell away as they slowly pressed their foreheads together, their still eyes fixed on each other, desperate to bring their hearts together at last.

"I'm so tired of not believing you, Mina. I really just want to believe you..."

"Then do it," Mina urged her gently. "I'll protect your heart with everything I have, if you'll let me. So please, just trust me."

A faint smile finally broke across Sana's lips, the beautiful lips that Mina had spent months dreaming about. The older girl slowly nodded, her smile trembling slightly from nervousness and excitement. "I trust you, Mittang. Do you trust me?"

Mina nodded as well, her heart racing as she smiled back. "I trust you, Sattang. I've always trusted you."

They leaned into each other fully, kissing for the first time under the glow of the stars that Sana loved so much. Not a single person in the world witnessed this meaningful moment between Mina and Sana, but a billion stars watched over their searing first kiss. Mina could feel Sana hugging her, holding her, pulling her in so closely that she couldn't escape from Sana's warmth even if she wanted to. But Mina didn't want to escape; she didn't want to run from the feelings in her heart any longer.

Mina buried herself into the heat of Sana's mouth, feeling Sana's tongue trace the outline of her upper lip before dipping into her mouth. They kissed each other over and over again, tasting from each other the kind of warmth and attention that both of them had only dreamed about receiving before this moment. It was such a surreal feeling to be kissing Sana that Mina couldn't tell if this was a dream or not. But the slight sting as Sana playful nipped at her lower lip told Mina that she was really awake and, for the first time ever, reality with Sana was better than her dreams with Sana.

At last they parted, but only far enough to be able to catch their breaths. Still holding each other tightly, Mina and Sana slowly sank to the ground while giggling and exchanging light kisses, all the while looking at each other through eyes that were drunk on love. When they hit the floor, Sana leaned back against the sliding glass door and pulled Mina in to lean on her. She intertwined their fingers together and placed a gentle kiss on Mina's head.

 _"Is it this easy to be in love with someone?"_ Mina asked herself, feeling all the heaviness on her heart disappear without a trace. She gazed into Sana's eyes, saw the tender way that Sana looked back at her, and thought, _"Yes. With Sana, it might really be this easy."_

They sat quietly for a while, simply holding each other as the emotional stress from their deep conversation started to take it's toll on their bodies even though their hearts were considerably lighter now. Rather than for comfort, it was almost out of necessity at the moment that they allowed their weary bodies to rest against each other without moving.

"Hey, Sana?" Mina asked softly, remembering their conversation from the balcony. "What can I do to make you less lonely?"

With a gentle smile, Sana shook her head slightly and held Mina tighter. "You don't have to do anything. I'm not lonely anymore, not when I have you, Mittang." 

"But that's what you said earlier, and you were lonely earlier," Mina pointed out.

Sana shrugged with a small laugh. "It's different this time."

"How?"

The genuine smile that danced on Sana's lips erased all of Mina's doubts about the sincerity of Sana's answer. "Because earlier I thought I didn't have the love of the one person I loved more than anyone else in this world," Sana explained gently, her voice softer and more affectionate than Mina had ever heard before. "And right now I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Misana ends happily. :) This is only the halfway point though. Still a few more chapters left unti the story ends! Thank you all for the kudos and comments!
> 
> The current story rating is T, but will be bumped up to M by the end of the story. (Unless someone can tell me whether it's possible to mark individual chapters with a different rating...)


	8. Heaviest Concern

Sana found herself soaking in a warm bath soon after accepting and returning Mina's confession just moments ago. Even though her heart felt warmer right now than it had felt in a long time, her body was still frozen from standing outside in the cold for almost an hour, most of which was without a coat.

Mina had drawn her the warm bath with utmost care, had led her to the bathroom and had even started to remove Sana's clothes for her until a shy and pink faced Sana asked her to stop. Mina merely smiled back at the older girl in amusement, quickly letting go of Sana's partially removed top.

"Take your time and get warmed up," Mina told Sana kindly. She placed a quick, affectionate kiss on the tip of Sana's nose and then walked away, leaving Sana to the privacy of her thoughts.

As Sana soaked her frozen body in the steamy water, she tried to process the entire conversation on the balcony with Mina that had culminated in their first and fiery kiss with each other. Sana's initial reaction was to be grateful that Mina had been brave enough to confess and subsequently guide Sana's less courageous heart to accept the confession. Her second reaction was just sheer embarrassment from having cried so much. But perhaps it was all for the best, because those sincere tears led her and Mina to talk openly to each other about their feelings.

Sana leaned back against the bathtub and allowed her body to sink deeper into the warm water, still in disbelief that her lips had kissed Mina's lips just moments ago. She marveled over the fact that Mina's lips were every bit as soft as she imagined, perhaps even moreso.

Her mind ran through the moment that was now burned into her memory, the sight of Mina's beautiful, delicate face coming closer to her own, eyes blazing with an intoxicating mix of tenderness and desire. Sana had felt herself fall even deeper for the younger girl in that kiss. And for the first time ever, Sana found herself thinking that it wasn't the end of the world to be head over heels for Mina.

From the moment they met, Sana knew Mina was a special existence to her. She felt an overwhelming desire to be with Mina and to protect her since their trainee days, but Sana didn't realize what her feelings for Mina meant until much later on. It was so obvious to Sana in hindsight, but she was too young at the time to understand the difference between friendship and love. And even though Sana had never been in love before, she was certain that the feelings she had for Mina right now were love.

But before tonight's confession, Sana never thought Mina would ever return her feelings. So from the very beginning Sana did the only thing she could do and tried to ignore her feelings for the other girl. For the most part, Sana managed to push the love and lust and intense desire for Mina behind an invisible barrier in her heart.

The pangs of longing never completely went away, though. They were muffled behind just enough layers of distraction for Sana to keep herself sane, but she often caught herself thinking about Mina romantically and dreaming about a future that never seemed to come. It was impossible for Sana to forget about Mina or to move on because Mina was always beside her and always doing things that caused Sana's suppressed feelings to flare up again, like this morning when Mina mumbled a faint but unmistakeable, "Sattang" in her sleep.

Sana froze in that instant, just two feet away from Mina's bed and just a few seconds from waking up the younger girl with a forehead kiss. Her heart fluttered as she realized that Mina was dreaming about her. Those dormant feelings for Mina began hammering against the barrier in her heart that Sana had spent weeks, months, and years building and rebuilding, opening the smallest crack despite Sana's best efforts to contain her feelings.

Try as she might, it was impossible for Sana to behave 100% normally around Mina today. Right after waking Mina up this morning, Sana had accidentally let Mina see the loneliness in her heart that only Mina could've filled. When Tzuyu was leaving and Mina gave Tzuyu a hug, Sana's loneliness slipped out again for just a moment as Sana wondered, "when was the last time that Mina hugged me as warmly as that"? And again at lunch time, when Mina refused to go shopping with her, Sana was certain that Mina had noticed that the crack in her heart's barrier was now a crater.

The final blow was Mina's sincere confession on the balcony. Sana had spent all afternoon trying to return to a normal state of mind where she thought of Mina as only a friend. Without Momo to serve as a distraction though, Sana tried to rely on the stars for company. And given enough time alone, Sana was certain that she would've succeeded in repairing the barrier in her heart. But then Mina appeared and tried to rid Sana of her loneliness, shattering the protective barrier until Sana's delicate heart was fully exposed.

Hearing the younger girl's confession was like setting the raw nerves of Sana's vulnerable heart on fire. The years she spent convincing herself that Mina would never love her had inadvertently shattered Sana's confidence. So when faced with Mina's confession, Sana's heart wanted to accept while her brain refused to believe it, and the conflict between her heart and her mind had caused her to cry.

_"Don't you think that you and I are worth the risk?"_ Mina had asked her earlier, showing more courage and strength than Sana ever thought possible. For bringing their hearts together and helping Sana to overcome her fears, Sana was more grateful to Mina tonight than she would ever be able to express.

She lifted her hands out of the warm bath water and brought them against her chest. She could feel her heart racing at the mere thought of Mina. The feelings she had for the younger girl were powerful. It was an all consuming love that Sana hadn't allowed herself to embrace this fully in months. The feelings were even stronger now than before, fueled by Mina's confession and by the realization that she was no longer alone with these feelings.

Sana got out of the bath and dried herself off, throwing on her sleeping shirt and shorts before seeking out the target of her affections. She found Mina in the kitchen setting out the food that she brought back for them earlier. Mina looked up upon hearing Sana's arrival, her face lighting up with a smile.

"Hey, I was just looking at food you bought. Thanks for--"

The sentence remained unfinished as Sana, with an expression clouded by her overwhelming feelings, launched herself into Mina's arms. The younger girl caught Sana's unexpected hug, stumbling backwards slightly out of surprise and due of the severity with which Sana clung to her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Mina asked softly, her words gentle and kind. She could sense Sana's fragility and tried her best to be comforting. "Are you OK, Sattang?"

"Am I allowed to love you this much?" Sana asked as she greedily buried herself deeper into Mina's neck. Her arms encircled the younger girl's shoulders as she breathed in Mina's scent like it was the last time she would ever get to hold Mina this closely again. "I feel like I want all of you all to myself. This love is going to overwhelm you, isn't it?"

"Sana..."

"You have to let me know if this is too much for you, Mina-ya. If you can't handle the way I love you, tell me and I'll try to change. Please help me not to hurt you."

Mina could tell that Sana was visibly distraught by her feelings. The older girl was trembling within her embrace, and this time it wasn't from the cold. She pulled back from Sana slightly, just enough so that she could look into Sana's face. But Sana's eyes were downcast, almost ashamed by feelings that were out of her control.

"Sana-ya, look at me," Mina urged the other girl gently. When that wasn't enough to shift Sana's gaze, she tried again with a slightly firmer tone. _"Look at me."_

Sana lifted her eyes at last. When they finally looked at each other, Mina felt her breath catch as she stared deeply into Sana's heart, into a dangerous swirl of love and turmoil that she had never been allowed to see before. It was indescribably beautiful, and yet hauntingly heartbreaking. But more importantly, it was a turmoil that didn't need to exist.

Sana bared her heart for Mina to see and waited nervously for Mina say that this love was already too much for her. But to her surprise, Mina leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

"I hope you believe me when I tell you that the fears you have about loving me too much are the same fears I've had all along too," Mina murmured, rubbing Sana's shoulders reassuringly. "I was worried that my overwhelming feelings would be a burden to you, and here you are thinking the same thing. We really are more similar than I thought."

"But if you know how intense these feelings are, aren't your scared that I'm going to hurt you one day?" Sana asked.

Mina scrunched her face cutely and shook her head. "My heart's not _that_ fragile, Sana. It can handle a little pain. While your were in the bath, I was actually thinking about whether or not we might end up hurting each other in this relationship. And I think no matter how careful we are, someone will eventually get hurt, whether by one or both of us being selfish or inconsiderate or inexperienced or whatever."

Sana nodded with a disappointed frown. "...should we not go down this path then?"

The younger girl smiled and shook her head again. Mina had no intention of giving up on their new relationship so quickly.

"You've never dated anyone before me, right?" she asked Sana, eliciting a head shake from the older girl. "Neither have I," Mina admitted to no one's surprise. "Have you ever loved anyone before me?"

Sana shook her head again.

A small and humbled smile appeared on Mina's lips as she responded softly. "Same here. And have you ever kissed anyone before me?"

Sana started to shake her head again, but then she thought for a moment and stopped. "Uh, actually, my first kiss was Jeongyeon... The time before we debuted when we accidentally kissed during practice."

Mina opened her eyes wide in amusement, recalling that awkward accidental kiss between Jeongyeon and Sana. But the memory inadvertently made her remember another accidental kiss. "Oh yeah... That happened to me, too. My first kiss was with Momo then, that time you pushed our heads together when we ate pepero."

"Hey, I accidentally kissed Momo, too!" Sana realized. "It was during K-rush when we were passing chips with our mouths." The two girls stared at each other and laughed. "I guess we still have a kiss with Momo in common."

"Nayeon-unnie kissed me before too, so we still kissed the same number of members," Mina added proudly.

"Yeah, but I kissed Jeongyeon twice," Sana reminded her. "Three kisses for me, and only two for you."

"This isn't a contest."

"Not one you'll win~" Sana teased cheekily.

Mina giggled and gently caressed her fingers against Sana's cheek, the action sending shivers down Sana's spine in the best possible way. "There's my Sattang," the younger girl murmured affectionately, gazing into Sana's eyes, grateful that the cloudiness in them had lifted a bit. "What I'm trying to say is that we're both new to this. We're both still trying to figure things out, so let's figure them out together. That's why even when we do hurt each other, it'll be OK because we're going to work together to make things right."

Before Sana could say anything, Mina leaned in and kissed her again, this time letting the kiss linger longer so that Sana had the chance to reciprocate properly.

"I forgive you for all of the little fights and painful moments we're going to have as we figure out this relationship," Mina said kindly. "So don't overthink things in this relationship, Sana-ya. Just be yourself."

Sana could feel tears of gratitude spring to her eyes again. How many times in this relationship would Mina be the one to bravely guide them through these uncharted waters? How many more times would Sana be in awe of Mina's maturity and compassion?

"You always say the right things to make me feel better," Sana murmured gratefully, resting her forehead against Mina's. "I forgive you too for all the things you might do in the future that hurt me. I'll do my best to cherish you without being scared, OK? We're in this together. That's a promise."

They hugged again, holding each other reassuringly in the face of the future's uncertainties, knowing that they were stronger when they were together. It was so touching for Sana to be able to say that the person she loved and the person who loved her were finally one and the same that Sana was unable to stop the tears that fell from her eyes.

"And I promise to stop being such a crybaby one day," Sana giggled, wiping away a few stray tears from her cheek over Mina's shoulder as they hugged. It must've been the third or fourth time she cried today. But to her surprise, she heard a sniffle from Mina as well.

"Don't worry," Mina replied with a tearful laugh. The younger girl's shoulders shook slightly, and Sana held on to the girl she loved even tighter. "It's a promise that you and I can work on together."


	9. Warmest Night

It was amazing to Sana how comfortable Mina seemed to be around her now that their feelings were out in the open. Sana had never thought of Mina as a cold person, but Mina was undeniably more reserved than the other members when it came to physical affection. It was rare to see Mina initiate a hug with anyone or to even rest her head on someone's shoulders, so it came as a shock to Sana when Mina sat down ever so casually on her lap in the middle of their dinner for two.

Sana gulped in surprise as Mina fixed a mischievously gaze onto her eyes. "Uh... What are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you asked for this morning?" Mina replied innocently, adjusting her position and sitting sideways on Sana lap comfortably.

"I requested a lap dance?" Sana asked dubiously, feeling her cheeks growing hotter by the second.

Mina laughed at the joke and then picked up Sana's plate and chopsticks. "This morning you asked me to feed you at dinner. Remember?"

"Oh, right," Sana said with an embarrassed laugh. She opened her mouth as Mina lifted a piece of _jjimdak_ to her lips, her cheeks still flushed with heat.

"Who knew that the flirtatious Minatozaki Sana could be so easily embarrassed by something like this?" Mina mused playfully, feeding Sana a bit of rice.

The other girl accepted the mouthful before burying her face into Mina's neck, too shy to allow the younger girl to continue staring at her face. In retaliation for the teasing, Sana dug her fingers into Mina's sides until the girl in her lap squealed with laughter and begged for forgiveness.

It was such a simple joy to Sana to be able to play around with Mina like this and to not be concerned about invading Mina's personal space. (Mina had already broken down that barrier by charging in with her pseudo-lap-dance). Their combined laughter was like a duet that echoed through the empty hallways of their dorm.

"You're beautiful when you laugh," Sana murmured breathlessly, the sight of Mina's soft eyes and gummy smile literally taking her breath away.

Mina stopped mid laugh and gazed at the older girl. Her heart was fluttering uncontrollably at her first-ever compliment from Sana post-confession. Mina could see herself reflected in Sana's crystal clear eyes, and she knew Sana meant that compliment with all her heart.

The younger girl's heart raced as she gently threaded her fingers into Sana's hair and pulled her closer for a kiss. The heated presses of her lips against Sana's was like a "thank you" for Sana's sincere words.

Mina swung her leg over Sana's waist so that she now straddled the older girl. She hadn't meant anything by it, had only done it as a means of making her position on Sana's lap more comfortable as they kissed. But the instant her position changed, their hips became fully pressed against each other and Sana gasped audibly, breaking their kiss. Sana looked adorable with her eyes widened in surprise, and Mina had no trouble returning the compliment.

"You're adorable..." _when you're surprised_ , Mina had wanted to say. But what came out was, "...always."

Mina leaned in again, wanting to recapture Sana's lips. The feelings in her chest were overwhelming right now. In the past, whenever Mina had felt like this, she always had to ignore those intense, longing feelings for Sana and force herself to think of something else, _anything_ else. But now she was blissfully able to watch Sana's cheeks grow pink with delight at the compliment before Sana leaned up into her waiting lips.

"Are you done eating?" Sana managed to mumble into Mina's mouth after several minutes of exchanging kisses with Mina riding her lap. Sana's hands were now securely around Mina's waist while Mina's hands freely roamed up and down Sana's back and into her hair at a whim. "Should... should we clean up and go to bed?"

It was Mina's turn to react with surprise at the mention of "bed". Her thoughts quickly traveled to the x-rated dreams she'd been having of Sana lately; it was a very short distance for her brain to travel given the intimate position they were currently sitting in.

Mina had never imagined that their newfound relationship could ever escalate to sex this quickly--not that Mina would say "no" if the opportunity arose. (Because she was definitely going to say "yes" if Sana asked.) And also not that she felt Sana was implying "go to bed" meant "have sex", but Mina was suddenly extremely curious to see what Sana had in mind for them this evening.

The younger girl nodded eagerly and scooted off Sana's lap. Moving more quickly than either of them had ever moved while tasked with clearing the kitchen table, Mina and Sana cleaned up after themselves in record time and then got ready for bed even faster.

Sana wasn't sure what made her do it, but she suggested to Mina that they sleep in Momo and Jeongyeon's room so they could sleep together in the double bed. And Sana wasn't sure what made Mina do it, but the younger girl seemed excited and instantly agreed to the idea. Sana swallowed audibly as Mina rushed off to relocate Momo's many stuffed toys temporarily into the master bedroom to make room for them on the double bed.

After helping to move the last load of stuffed toys, Sana came back to Jeongyeon and Momo's room to find Mina stretched out comfortably on the freshly cleaned bed. Mina shyly motioned at Sana, who stood in the doorway, to come over, and she received the older girl warmly in her open arms.

Sharing a bed wasn't new to Sana and Mina, and yet it was an entirely different experience now that they had confessed to each other. With Sana lying half on top of Mina in an intimate hug, they grinned at each other bashfully before Sana buried herself into Mina's shoulder. Sana breathed in the smell of Mina's shampoo and conditioner, grateful that their relationship had suddenly evolved into... whatever this was.

"Are you my girlfriend now?" Sana asked quietly, unsure of how to define their new relationship. She lifted her head from Mina's shoulder and gazed nervously into Mina eyes. "Are we dating now?"

Mina looked at Sana cautiously, her eyes roaming Sana's face to gauge her reaction. "Do you want us to be girlfriends?"

"Yes," Sana nodded without hesitation. The warm smile that broke across Sana's face caused Mina's heart to flutter. "I really do."

"I really do, too," Mina admitted, and they hugged again tightly.

"Is it hard for you to be this affectionate with me now?" Sana wondered, trying to balance her greed for Mina's physical contact with consideration. "Am I being too clingy?"

Mina shook her head. "You're not too clingy. I'm... I'm pushing myself a little bit right now, but not in a bad way. I _like_ to be this close to you," Mina added, seeing Sana starting to pull away a bit for fear of overwhelming her new girlfriend. "Don't worry, OK? I'll tell you when it's too much."

Sana nodded but still felt a little uneasy, as though she was forcing Mina to do too many things outside of her comfort zone all at once. She wasn't sure what she could expect from Mina right now in terms of their physical relationship, whether cuddling and kissing was the limit or if they could go further than that tonight. Although Sana's feelings for Mina felt like they had existed for an eternity, their official dating status was less than 4 hours old.

"Can I kiss you?" Sana asked nervously, extremely aware of the fact that they were now lying in bed together. It had been a long time since Sana felt so unconfident and out of control around Mina. She hadn't felt like this since initialing realizing she thought of Mina as more than a friend.

The younger girl looked at her girlfriend in disbelief. "We were just making out in the kitchen and NOW you're going to ask if it's OK for you to kiss me?"

Sana pressed her lips into an embarrassed smirk and Mina smiled gently, finding this shy side of Sana endearing and fairly relatable. She responded to Sana by gently leaning in closely and pressing their lips together.

The warmest words of reassurance and adoration passed between them as their boundaries of exploration slowly grew wider and wider. Mina's wandering fingers started to travel just below the previous boundary at Sana's waist and began to caress the curves of her hips and thighs. Sana's mouth now daringly traveled away from Mina's lips and onto her neck and shoulders.

"Is this real?" Sana thought to herself again and again as Mina's warm lips danced against her mouth countless times. Was she really kissing Myoui Mina, the woman who felt so impossibly out of her reach just yesterday? Sana pulled back slowly from their kiss, gazing down and receiving the most affectionate look she had ever seen from Mina. She slowly traced the outline of the younger girl's wet lips, memorizing their shape, their softness, in case she woke up from this dream without warning.

Mina wrapped her fingers around the ones Sana placed on her lips, pressing light kisses against Sana's fingertips. The action sent shivers of delight coursing through Sana's body. For Mina to fall in love with her, to be able to look past all of her flaws and still want to be with her, it was a feeling of joy and gratitude that Sana couldn't express in words.

It was a miracle to hear Mina's confession earlier out on the balcony. When Mina said "daisuki", Sana knew exactly what Mina was saying but she couldn't let her heart believe it was a love confession. Mina had never shown any hint of liking Sana as more than a friend, and Sana certainly wasn't the decisive type that Mina was always looking for in a partner. But when Sana heard Mina say "aishiteru", the deepest expression of love, there was no doubt in her heart or mind about what Mina was trying to tell her.

"Sattang, aishiteru," Mina mumbled with her lips still pressed against Sana's hand. _I love you._

There it was again, those powerful words that sent shivers down Sana's spine and made her heart swell uncontrollably in her chest. Sana loved to hear Mina say "aishiteru" in that low and seductive voice, but at the same time it felt like they weren't ready yet to use such a precious word to describe their feelings for each other.

"Watashi mo aishiteru." _I love you, too._ Sana murmured back, staring into Mina's eyes with utmost adoration. "But we can't keep saying that, Mittang. I don't want the word to lose it's meaning. 'Aishiteru' should describe a deep love when you can't express it any other way. You know what I mean?"

Mina smiled and understood, because she knew from the start that it was too strong of a word for what she wanted to say to Sana as well. "I only used 'aishiteru' because you didn't understand it when I said, 'daisuki' to you," she explained.

Sana looked down, a little embarrassed at herself. "I knew exactly what you meant when you said 'daisuki' when we were outside earlier," she admitted. "I just pretended like I didn't know because I was a coward."

Warm fingers cupped Sana's chin and lifted her face so that she stared into Mina's kind and compassionate eyes. Warm lips pressed into Sana's, forgiving her for not having enough courage earlier to accept Mina's confession. Sana could only melt under Mina's gentle touch and then muster up the courage to say what she should've said earlier.

"Daisuki," Sana whispered, affectionately caressing her nose against Mina's. _I love you. I love you so much._

"Daisuki," Mina responded breathlessly. She and Sana were now a tangle of arms and legs and fingers and tongues as their kisses deepened impossibly. Mina felt like she was drowning in Sana's love in the best possible way and she never wanted to lose the feel of Sana's lips against her skin, of Sana's fingers in her hair. "Daisuki," Mina whispered again and again into Sana's warm mouth. _I love you. I love you. I love you a million times over._

It was only their first day as girlfriends and Sana had wanted to take things slowly with Mina, but Sana felt so greedy to explore every bit of their new relationship as soon as possible. And perhaps it was because she was afraid that none of this was real, but Sana didn't want to let Mina go.

If only Sana knew how to ignore the annoying voice of reason in her head--and perhaps a twinge of fear--that was telling her to slow down.

Sana pulled back from Mina slightly and bit down on her lower lip, trying to ignore the seductive look on Mina's face. She could feel Mina silently giving her permission to keep pushing their rapidly expanding boundaries. Sana was more than ready to dive deeper into the physical side of their relationship after their confessions, but Mina...

Four years of astutely observing Mina told Sana that they younger girl was slow to build up physical intimacy with anyone. Even with Sana, Mina rarely initiated hugs or kisses first while they were friends. Sana didn't want to push too hard or too fast just because they were more than friends now.

But at the same time, Sana had been longing for Mina's touch for years, and now she finally had Mina all to herself...

Sana felt like she would go crazy if she kept arguing with herself.

"...can I hold you while we sleep?" Sana found herself asking Mina out of the blue, realizing that her mind had just won the battle with her heart.

Mina blinked in surprise and then giggled, the sudden question bringing their intimate actions to a halt. "What's gotten into you? First you ask to kiss me after we've already kissed, and then you ask to hold me when you've been holding me all night? You better not ask for permission to talk to me next. I swear I'll stop talking to you if you do."

Sana buried her face in Jeongyeon's pillow and cringed at herself. Mina just laughed and placed a gentle kiss on Sana's head.

"If you had shown me this shy side of yourself sooner," Mina murmured, "I think I would've fallen in love with you a long time ago."

Sana lifted her head and smiled shyly at Mina. She then sidled up to the younger girl. Tonight, their first night as a couple, was too soon for sex. Sana sighed internally, wondering if she was being selfless with her decision or just plain stupid, but either way the decision had been made. Holding Mina tightly, Sana spooned the younger girl gently until they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no greater joy as a Misana writer than to see all your comments about them being soft lol. Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend and see you Monday!


	10. Simplest Request

When Sana woke up the following morning, she was confused to wake up in a bed that was not her own. Momo and Jeongyeon's possessions came into view and Sana suddenly remembered the events of last night, of Mina confessing to her on the balcony, of Mina straddling and kissing her in the kitchen, of them making out in bed on the brink of sex but ending in an innocent yet fulfilling night of sleeping in each other's arms.

Sana rolled over and was surprised to find Mina already awake and gazing at her fondly, apparently watching over her as she slept. The younger girl's hair was unkempt and her eyes were clouded with sleep, and yet Sana's breath still caught in her throat from how beautiful Mina looked at that moment. A faint, pink blush began to color Mina's cheeks once their eyes met, but Mina bit back her shyness and held her gaze. 

"Good morning, Mittang," Sana murmured, wondering if Mina's presence next to her in bed was just the continuation of a dream.

"Good morning, Sattang," Mina replied softly, her voice barely audible.

Sana reached out and gently touched Mina's cheek, holding her breath until she felt Mina's warmth against her fingers. Mina smiled and took Sana's hand to her lips, placing light kisses against it. Sana couldn't quite shake the feeling yet that this might all be a dream, but every touch from Mina's lips was making it easier for her to believe that this was real.

"Are you still my girlfriend today?" Sana asked cautiously, semi joking but semi serious as well.

Mina's giggles echoed in Sana ear, making the older girl's heart feel light and giddy. "Yes. Are you still mine?"

Sana responded by sliding closer to her girlfriend, tenderly tucking Mina's hair behind her ear before leaning in for a kiss. Sana could only pray that she would wake up next to Mina for the rest of her life, knowing that Mina was watching over her as she slept.

They washed up together, brushing their teeth and combing their hair side by side in the bathroom before putting on matching outfits per Mina's shy suggestion. The bashful look on Mina's face was impossible to say "no" to, and Sana felt like she would've agreed to any outfit Mina suggested even if it meant leaving the dorm in fuzzy animal pajamas or worse.

Today was the second day of Chuseok and Mina had wanted to try cooking some traditional Korean dishes for dinner. It was supposed to be a celebratory dinner for three when Momo was still with them, but now they were planning an intimate yet festive dinner for two. After about an hour of recipe researching and putting together a shopping list--which may have involved Mina sitting in Sana's lap again on the sofa--the two were ready to go shopping for ingredients.

One of their managers picked them up and took them to the grocery store, a rather uneventful trip since Mina and Sana were actively trying to avoid any actions that would give away their new relationship status. They returned to the dorm about an hour later with grocery bags full of ingredients and their hearts set on cooking up a small feast with their limited cooking skills.

As they spent the afternoon cooking, baking, laughing, and dancing to the music playing in the background, Sana was reminded of all the holidays she used to spend with her family in Osaka before joining Twice. Now Mina was her family. This was true even before they started dating, and Sana felt it in her heart even moreso right now.

Sana watched Mina standing at the stove looking positively domestic in a stained apron and with her hair tied up messily in a ponytail. The younger girl was humming idly to herself, stirring a pot of sauce while consulting a recipe on her phone. It was a mundane moment, an ordinary snapshot in time, and yet Sana was mesmerized as she watched Mina turn down the heat with a satisfied smirk, apparently pleased with the results of her cooking. 

Silently, Sana crossed the kitchen and came up behind her girlfriend, planting a gentle kiss on the back of Mina's bare neck. The most adorable squeak of surprise escaped Mina's lips as she jumped a mile into the air, nearly knocking the pot of sauce off the stove.

Sana winced apologetically, but she couldn't help but giggle at Mina's reaction. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. You just looked so sexy standing there cooking," Sana explained.

Mina looked down at her stained apron and disheveled hair. "How is this sexy?"

Sana smiled and then kissed her slowly. "Everything you do is sexy to me."

Mina was incredibly embarrassed by Sana's compliments, the faint blush on her cheeks betraying her attempts to act nonchalant, and Sana thought her girlfriend was very cute. She placed one hand on Mina's waist and began to sway to the sultry music in the background, pleased when Mina smiled at her and started dancing as well.

Sana loved watching Mina dance. There was an elegant fluidity and freedom in her movements that seemed to show itself best whenever Mina moved in time with music. Sana always had to fight to keep her expression in check when watching Mina dance, although more times than not she lost the fight and her aroused expression would peek out as she gazed at the younger girl with rapt attention.

Today was different though. Mina was no longer the unattainable woman that she had a secret crush on, who Sana could only watch from afar. Mina was her girlfriend now, her sexy and alluring girlfriend who had moved closer on her own as they danced, whose fingers were now suddenly threading themselves through Sana's hair, whose eyes burned with a passion that was fueling the fire already burning in Sana's hungry eyes, who was dancing so closely to Sana that their hips were practically grinding against each other slowly.

Mina threw her head back dramatically in time with the music, her eyes closed and seemingly lost in their dance. Sana took the opportunity to lean forward and place a quick kiss on Mina's neck, her new favorite place to kiss her girlfriend. The younger girl simply _groaned_ at the kiss, a sound that was extremely arousing from Sana's perspective. Mina smiled as she leaned into Sana to initiate a string of light kisses against Sana's lips, their arms and legs sliding against each other sensually as they continued to dance.

Sana's heart was racing in her chest as she wondered how innocent Mina really was. She had always viewed Mina as someone that she needed to protect. Even as her feelings for Mina initially started to grow, at first Sana only wanted to do cute things with Mina, like holding hands or cuddling with her, only much later on deciding she also wanted to kiss the seemingly naive younger girl.

But Sana's feelings had matured as time went on. Now she wanted to make out with Mina and have sex with her, to touch her and taste her, to make her girlfriend melt in her arms and absolutely _scream_ with pleasure. She wanted to feel Mina's bare body against her own, with Mina clinging to her so tightly that it hurt.

There was a twinge of guilt in Sana's mind that she couldn't ignore as she placed one hand on Mina's bare inner thigh, hoping to escalate the situation. A part of Sana wanted them to move slowly, to protect the younger girl from changing too quickly, but Sana was finding it hard to deny the desires in her heart. She had already stopped their intimate activities last night, but she wasn't sure that she'd be able to stop herself again with the way that she was feeling now.

Mina didn't even flinch when she felt Sana's hand rest itself on her thigh. With their eyes locked, Mina licked her lips as she placed her hand on Sana's and slowly slid Sana's hand higher and higher up her leg. Mina's free hand cupped Sana's chin and she placed a wet kiss on the older girl's jawline.

Sana gulped audibly. "Mina-ya, do you want to--"

She stopped mid-sentence, the alarm for the oven interrupting her completely. They both turned to look at it and Sana groaned loudly in frustration.

Mina looked at her girlfriend with an amused smile as they separated from each other. "The brownies are done," she said, reaching for the oven mitts to retrieve the finished dessert.

 _"So is this moment,"_ Sana thought to herself with disappointment. But if Sana was honest with herself, a tiny part of her heart was a bit relieved for the interruption.

They went back to cooking, finishing within the hour and plating up their meal. Surprised smiles grew across Mina and Sana's faces as they tasted their homemade _jjajang_ , _tangsuyuk_ , and _budae jjigae_ , shocked that they had surpassed the original goal of "make it edible" and were now in "delicious" territory.

"Miracles happen when we work together," Sana joked, earning an appreciative laugh from the younger girl.

Sana thought it was too precious when Mina flashed a trademark gummy smile just for her. And Mina, in turn, thought she was too loved by Sana when the older girl fed her a bite of _jjajang_ and then licked away a stray bit of sauce from her lips.

Mina was happy right now, happier than she ever thought possible, perhaps even too happy. Sana was all hers in this moment and she was all Sana's too. But for how much longer could she greedily keep Sana all to herself? The other Twice members would be returning to the dorm starting tomorrow, and suddenly "her" Sana would become "everyone's" Sana again. And Mina felt like it was going to hurt a lot when all of this went away.

"Why the long face?" Sana asked, immediately noticing the drop in Mina's mood.

Mina blinked at Sana in surprise. "You could tell?"

"I can always tell when you're having a hard time," Sana replied sincerely, still concerned about Mina's mood shift. Sana's hand was on the younger girl's cheek instantly, her expression turned worried and serious instantly. "What's up?"

Mina gave her girlfriend a small smile in an attempt to ease Sana's concern. She gently kissed the palm of Sana's hand, taking comfort in Sana's warm touch.

"I was thinking about tomorrow," Mina said honestly.

"What about tomorrow?"

Mina looked down. "Once our members return, this relationship will disappear, won't it? What we have right now is like a dream come true, and tomorrow will be a return to reality."

Sana frowned, not quite understanding Mina's concern. She tilted her head down to catch Mina's gaze. "What do you mean?"

"...you're not going to be able to give me attention like this when the members return," Mina explained softly, her eyes wavering slightly as they focused on Sana's. "Everyone will be around you again. Dahyun, Momo, Jeongyeon, everyone... There won't be any room for me in your heart."

Sana was torn between wanting to cheer Mina up for thinking so little about herself compared to the others, and feeling hurt that Mina didn't understand how important their new relationship was to her. But Sana realized though that this was one of those times where she should forgive Mina for unintentionally hurting her, because Sana knew that this was Mina being insecure and not Mina intentionally being hurtful.

With an affectionate gaze, Sana nudged her nose against Mina's gently until Mina's solemn expression cracked into a small smile. "I've dreamed about being with you for a long time now. Just having you for three days won't be enough for me, Myoui Mina," Sana said sincerely.

She had to resist the urge to say that she wanted Mina for a lifetime. They were too young and this relationship was too new for that kind of declaration. Instead, Sana promised to cut back the affection she showed to the other members. She didn't want to make Mina feel uncomfortable or insecure.

"You don't have to change who you are, Sana. I know you show your love for your friends through physical contact and I'm OK with it. Really," Mina insisted. "Just sometimes..." Mina paused, feeling a little shy, and Sana waited patiently for her to finish. "Just show me that you love me more than the others. Show me that I'm your number one and I won't be jealous by the affection you show to everyone else."

Sana pulled Mina into a tight and reassuring hug. "I _do_ love you more than anyone else, Mittang. I don't think of anyone else the way that I think about you. I'll do anything to show you how much I love you."

"Anything?" Mina smiled faintly as she pulled back from the hug. "Then do things with me that you wouldn't do with anyone else."

"Like kiss you?" Sana suggested coyly, leaning in and capturing Mina's lips. The younger girl smiled into the warm kiss, but then pulled back slowly and shook her head.

"No, I meant _touch_ me," Mina murmured. And before Sana could even respond, Mina took Sana's hand and guided it to her chest, placing it so that she firmly grasped Mina's breast.

Sana's eyes widened in surprise at the sudden action. "Mina--!"

"Touch me like this," Mina murmured breathlessly, her cheeks tinged with pink. The younger girl was embarrassed, to be sure, but her eyes shone with determination as well. "You won't touch anyone else but me like this, right?"

Sana's brain was melting. All she could think was that Mina's breast felt impossibly soft in her hand and she squeezed it gently, making a sinful moan spill out from Mina's lips.

Sana quickly pulled her hand back, unable to process what was happening. "Mina, what--" Sana started to say again, but the younger girl stood up and tugged on her arm, pulling Sana to her feet.

"Come with me," Mina insisted, and Sana found herself being led to Momo and Jeongyeon's bedroom with her heart beating furiously in her chest. And before Sana knew it, Mina had sat them on the bed and they were kissing again. Sana could feel the urgency in Mina's kisses as the younger girl leaned greedily into her, Mina's hand latching onto Sana's and bringing it under Mina's shirt and onto her bare stomach.

Sana felt her body flush with heat. Who was this assertive Mina? She pulled back from the kiss and looked into the younger girl's face. Mina's eyes were warm and seductive, smoldering with love and lust. The desire in her eyes was intense, mesmerizing. This was not Mina her roommate or Mina her friend. That was Mina her girlfriend. _Her_ Mina and no one else's. 

Sana was blushing furiously now and she could feel the heat rising to her face. Sana was a virgin, completely oblivious to sex aside from what her friends in Japan had told her about it. Her passionate makeout session with Mina last night was probably the closest she had ever been to sex.

Until now.

"Show me I'm your number one," Mina whispered into her girlfriend's ear. Sana swallowed hard, in that moment wanting nothing more than to satisfy every nuance of that simple request. She nodded slowly, her eyes trapped within Mina's intoxicating gaze, and then leaned in for another kiss.

Misana soft hours remain open for another few days. Innocent hours are over though. :) See you Wednesday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Misana soft hours remain open for another few days. Innocent hours are over though. :) See you Wednesday!


	11. Sweetest Love [M]

Sana leaned into Mina for another kiss, feeling the younger girl becoming more aggressive with her response as their lips met. Mina's hand cradled the back of Sana's head, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. Mina's other hand tugged at the hand Sana had placed on Mina's stomach, urging it up toward her breasts. And despite the fact that Sana was very certain that Mina was asking her to prove her feelings with sex, Sana couldn't help but seek Mina's confirmation before they continued.

"W-wait, what exactly are we doing right now?" Sana asked nervously, resisting against Mina slightly so that her hand remained on Mina's stomach rather than being pulled upward any higher.

Mina stared at Sana and blushed. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

Sana smiled back apologetically, not wanting to embarrass her girlfriend but also not wanting to misunderstand the situation. "Yes, if only so that I don't get confused by what you're asking for."

Mina smirked, her eyes darkening alluringly as she leaned toward her girlfriend. "I want to have sex with you," Mina whispered, planting two fingers gently on Sana's lips and staring at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world, which Sana knew wasn't true because Mina existed in this world, too. "...do you not want to?" Mina wondered softly, vulnerably, lightly running her fingers across Sana's lips and causing the older girl to swallow heavily.

Sana was extremely aroused at the moment; it would be a lie to say that she wasn't. She had probably been aroused since the moment that Mina sat on her lap at dinner last night all the way until now. But it was an arousal accompanied by guilt. "Do you feel like I'm pressuring you to have sex with me?" Sana asked Mina contritely.

Mina blinked in confusion at the unexpected question. She looked at the hand that Sana had on her stomach, the one that Mina herself was actively trying to guide towards her breasts against Sana resistance, and then looked back into Sana's eyes curiously. "Aren't _I_ the one who's pressuring you for sex?"

They looked at each other, paused, and then laughed. Sana gently pulled her hand back and they both sat up straight.

"Let's talk clearly," Sana suggested, to which Mina agreed.

"I already told you that I wanted to have sex with you," the younger girl pointed out. "What do you want to do?"

Sana bit her lip, trying to swallow her hesitation. "...if we're being honest, I _really_ want to have sex with you, too. I've wanted it for so long now. But I don't want to push you to do anything that you're not ready for."

Mina's eyes widened as the realization dawned on her. "Oooh, OK, I get it now. That's why you've been sending me mixed signals since last night, isn't it? Why you keep kissing me and touching me like you want to go all the way and why you keep stopping yourself, like last night and now."

Sana pouted, embarrassed as she listened to Mina's accurate assessment of her inconsistent behavior. "Maybe..."

Mina laughed. "God, you're so cute. I wish you just came out and said it though. It would've been less confusing. But you're still trying to protect me even now, aren't you?"

"I just don't want to force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable," Sana said, placing a warm hand against Mina's cheek. The younger girl's eyes were soft and understanding, patient as she waited for Sana to explain her feelings. "I don't want you to lose your innocence."

"You think I'm innocent?" Mina couldn't help but giggle in disbelief at the comment. "You know I was dreaming about you yesterday morning, right? Do you know what we were doing in my dream before you woke me up?"

The older girl shook head and Mina's cheeks burned with embarrassment as she revealed her dream. "You were eating me out and I was begging for you to go down on me even harder."

Sana's eyes widened in surprise. "R-really?" She never imagined that Mina would dream of such erotic things. She didn't even think Mina would know what the term 'eating someone out' meant.

"Really," Mina confirmed with a smile. She reached out and took Sana's hand in her own, squeezing it gently as though to remind Sana that whatever happened, they would always be together. "Don't worry about taking my innocence, OK? Because that ship sailed a long time ago. But my virginity? That's all yours--if you want it."

Sana's heart raced as she gazed at Mina, realizing that Mina was even more amazing than she ever thought possible. "Me too," Sana murmured. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Mina's, starting into the younger girl's eyes and baring every inch of her soul. "My virginity, it's all yours too. I've been waiting for you since before I even knew you."

Their faces were were so close in this position that Sana could feel Mina's warm breath tickling her lips as they gazed into each other's eyes, trying to bring their hearts in sync with each other again.

"You promise you'll tell me if we're moving too quickly, right?" Sana asked, leaning into Mina and lightly kissing her, as though testing the waters. "You'll tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable?"

Mina nodded as she smiled into their deepening kiss. "And if you want us to stop for any reason, promise me that you'll tell me, too," Mina mumbled into Sana's tender kisses, feeling Sana hum in agreement with her request. Mina's lips began to trace a lazy path along Sana's jawline, down her neck and across her collar bones.

"T-tell me how much you want me," Sana murmured, feeling a bit nervous, a bit insecure and wanting the kind of reassurance that only Mina could provide.

Mina smiled, understanding every bit of the feelings behind Sana's words. Her cheeks were pink with shyness, but her eyes shone with nothing but love and affection for the older girl. Mina whispered into Sana's ear. "I want you so badly that you were all I could think about last night. I was super disappointed when you stopped making out with me and we went to bed. You got me all riled up in all the right ways and then you stopped it _right there._ " Mina's voice was deep, seductive, and dripping with desire. _"How could you do that to me, Sattang?"_

Sana shivered at the low tones of Mina's voice, amazed at how powerfully Mina's words were affecting her. The older girl gazed back at her impossibly beautiful girlfriend, whispering back in a sultry voice, hoping to ignite Mina's heart. "Because I'm a stupid, stupid woman. Let me make it up to you," Sana murmured, and the hungry and eager nod she received from Mina let Sana know that she had been successful. 

Sana kissed the younger girl deeply with no intentions of stopping right now like she had done last night, with no intentions of disappointing her girlfriend twice. Her hands slipped under Mina's shirt, tentatively grasping Mina's breasts, and she was rewarded with Mina's moans of approval.

 _"To hell with all of these fears,"_ Sana thought to herself, pushing every reason why they should stop out of her head and focusing on the only reason she needed to make love to her girlfriend. 

They looked at each other and Sana could see a softness in Mina's eyes that made her want to cry, that made an explosion of emotions well up inside of Sana's chest.

"I love you," Sana murmured breathlessly, pressing her lips against Mina's and letting the profound truth tumble into her girlfriend's mouth.

"I love you, too," Mina instantly replied, the sincerity of her words permeating every inch of Sana's body as they kissed.

They undressed each other carefully, kissed each other tenderly, took their time and treated each other so preciously that it was late at night by the time Mina and Sana finally laid down next to each other, exhausted, sweating, and panting.

Sex wasn't anything like Sana had heard about from her friends. It wasn't an awkward or uncomfortable experience. It wasn't a short lived moment of feverish excitement, over in an instant. Sex with Mina was slow and unrushed, purposefully drawn out, playful and passionate. It was full of languid exploration, heated touches, and deep kisses that were so good that they were almost the highlight of the experience.

Mina made Sana come so easily for her first time, which was a surprise to Sana since she had heard that it was supposed to be difficult for women to orgasm. But Mina touched her in all the right ways, kissed her in all the right ways, used seductive gazes, arousing words, and silky touches that drew out her orgasm in an embarrassingly short amount of time until Sana was gripping fistfuls of the bedsheets in an attempt to steady herself as the crushing force of her first orgasm threatened to tear her from this world.

Mina held Sana's thigh firmly with one hand in order to keep her tongue circling steadily between Sana's legs. Her other hand found Sana's clenched fist, gently prying it open until she could thread her fingers into Sana's, helping her ride out the mind-numbing orgasm and come down from the intense high. Once Sana's moans and gasps slowly eased into heavy breathing, Mina crawled up beside her girlfriend with a warm hug and gentle words of praise and adoration. 

_"This isn't just sex,"_ Sana thought to herself, trying to catch her breath, Mina's body tangled within her in own in an intimate hug. _"This is love."_

Sana was so lucky--too lucky--to be the woman that Mina loved. And Sana was too lucky that she was allowed to love Mina in return. She stared at Mina with a dazed smile, her head still stuck in the clouds. It was difficult to focus so Sana closed her eyes and pressed a hand against her face. "I think I discovered a few new colors just now."

Mina giggled and placed a gentle kiss to Sana's cheek. "Really? What colors did you see?"

"Penguin blue and Mina pink," Sana murmured with a smile. "It was beautiful."

" _You're_ beautiful," Mina insisted, and Sana lowered her hand to cast an affectionate gaze upon her girlfriend.

She smiled and leaned into Mina's lips, kissing them slowly and deeply as she rolled on top of Mina so that the younger girl was firmly pressed into the mattress.

"Take your time," Mina insisted, tugging at Sana gently and suggesting that she lie back down for a few more minutes and enjoy the afterglow of her first orgasm. "We're not in a hurry."

But Sana shook her head with an eager smile. Because Mina had just helped her to discover a feeling that was better than anything she had ever felt in her 21 years of life, and she was excited to help Mina discover the same.

"I want to show you how much I love you. Let me prove it to you," Sana mumbled against Mina's lips, and the only thing a breathless and aroused Mina could do was nod.

Sana's lips were in Mina's ear as her fingers reached between Mina's thighs, sparking the most arousing moans that Sana had ever heard while awake or even in her wildest dreams. She whispered secrets into Mina's ear about the sinful things she wanted to do to Mina for so long now, smiling as she felt, both literally on her fingers and figuratively through Mina's heightened whimpering, how much Mina enjoyed her dirty talk.

But despite the lustful tones that Sana spoke in, it was with utmost tenderness that Sana used her fingers to carefully push inside of Mina for the first time. Sana slowly sunk one finger and then two as deep as they could go, kissing Mina's furrowed brow, waiting patiently for Mina to adjust to her presence, marveling at the heat that she could feel radiating from within the younger girl. When Mina finally gave her permission to move, Sana built up a slow and steady pace with her fingers that eventually had Mina's hips shuddering with each stroke.

And when Mina felt like it couldn't get any better, Sana leaned down across Mina's body so that she was pressing the younger girl into the bed, her stomach on top of Mina's, her face buried between Mina's thighs, kissing and licking at Mina's most sensitive area like Mina had dreamed about. 

The younger girl's frantic breathing and strained moans were music to Sana's ears, breaking into a high pitched cry that Sana could've spent the rest of her life listening to. Because the only thing more amazing and beautiful than coming under Mina's touch earlier was seeing, hearing, feeling, and tasting Mina's first orgasm now.

At last Mina tugged gently on Sana's arm, pulling the older girl to her and clinging to Sana tightly, her body still shaking from the intensity of her orgasm. Sana cradled the younger girl protectively as she recovered, whispering affectionate words into Mina's ear to let her know exactly how amazing she was.

After a few moment of silence punctuated by Mina's heavy breaths, Sana quietly asked, "Did I prove it to you?"

"Hm?" Mina asked, still a bit disoriented. She clumsily reached out for the older girl's hand with her eyes closed, lacing their fingers together lightly. "Prove what?"

"Did I prove to you that you're my number one? That you mean more to me than anyone else in this world?"

The grip on Sana's hand tightened and she watched as Mina's relaxed expression widened into a beautiful, gummy smile. Mina leaned over and kissed her, dazed, happy, her heart more full of love, more full of _Sana_ , than she ever imagined possible.

"Yeah, I believe you," Mina whispered in a low, affectionate voice that sent a wonderful shiver down Sana's spine.

They stayed in bed for hours, their pillow talk lasting an eternity. Sana just wanted to marvel over every aspect of Mina, to bask in her girlfriend's beauty, to continue to feel overwhelmingly happy and loved and safe in Mina's presence.

"Now I see why you like to stay in bed all the time," Sana mused. "If I had someone like you in my bed, I would never leave either." 

Mina smiled wryly and punched Sana playfully on the shoulder. "Ha ha," she responded dryly, earning a teasing smile from Sana. "What should we do tomorrow?"

"Whatever you want," Sana replied. "We could go shopping or stay in. Anything's fine with me."

"No, I mean..." Mina paused before finishing, her voice softer and more serious. "By the end of tomorrow, some of our members will return. What do we do about us?"

A heavy silence filled the room and Mina and Sana simply looked at each other as they laid side by side, fiddling with their intertwined fingers.

"Well first thing we do tomorrow morning is we wash these sheets and never speak of this to Momo or Jeongyeon," Sana said seriously. Mina bit back a smile and wholeheartedly agreed.

"...I'm not ready to tell anyone yet," Sana admitted. "I want this to stay between us for a while longer. Is that OK?"

Mina sighed in relief. "It's more than OK. That's exactly what I want right now, too."

They agreed that telling the others would just complicate their new relationship. It was too early for them to have to endure their members' teasing and attention, even though their members were very likely to be supportive. They weren't ashamed of their relationship or their feelings for each other; they just wanted to retain their privacy for a little while longer, if that was even possible while living with seven other people. 

"We'll find a way to be together, somehow. We'll make time to be alone, just the two of us," Sana promised, showing more confidence in their relationship than Mina had seen so far. "I'll show you so much love during the times that we're together that you won't even have a chance to be lonely when were apart."

Mina smiled at Sana, already feeling more reassured about how their relationship would fare once the others returned. "Don't worry, Sattang. I won't feel lonely, not when I have you."

They kissed gently, whispering reassurances and sincere promises into each other's ears, melting into each other's arms in a warm and sleepy hug. They fell asleep together again that night with Sana holding onto Mina protectively. And Sana dreamed of Mina that night as Mina dreamed about her, both of them knowing that the best dream was waiting for them when they woke up in the morning because reality was now better than anything they could ever dream about.

* * *

It was the afternoon of third day of Chuseok when Momo and Nayeon returned to the dorm first. Momo was admittedly still feeling a little guilty for unexpectedly ditching Sana and Mina to go to Nayeon's house for the extended holiday.

"You worry too much," Nayeon decided as she fumbled with putting the dorm key into the lock. "You already saw their messages. They don't mind that you left."

"I know, but still..." Momo said nervously.

"Look, I invited all three of you to my place, so they could've stay with us if they wanted to. And it's not like they sat around the last three days and did nothing. It's Sana and Mina. I bet they had a lot of fun together. If not, that's what the food my mom gave us is for."

"And the cake," Momo added, holding up the bakery box they had picked up a short while ago on their way home.

"Exactly," Nayeon agreed with a smile. "So relax and let's go say 'hi' to them!"

Nayeon unlocked the front door and they entered loudly. "Guys! We're ba--!"

Nayeon stopped short, seeing Mina and Sana sleeping side by side on the living room sofa as a movie played in the background. With an affectionate smile, Nayeon walked over to them and paused the movie so that it wouldn't disrupt their nap.

"They're so adorable. I bet they've been staying up late and playing together every night," Nayeon whispered, dragging her luggage toward her room.

"I bet they were bored and fell asleep," Momo pouted, causing Nayeon too laugh.

"Seriously, you worry about them too much. They're both big girls. They know how to enjoy themselves when everyone is gone."

Momo watched Nayeon's retreating form and sighed, knowing that Nayeon was right. As she headed for her own room, Momo noticed that the blanket that Sana and Mina were using had slipped down around them. She lifted the blanket gently to cover them and found that they were holding hands with each other as they slept. Momo smiled affectionately at the adorable scene. Sana and Mina had always had a soft relationship with each other in her eyes.

Momo carefully pulled the blanket up to Sana's chin and then paused, noticing a dark brown mark on the lower part of Sana's chest since her shirt had slipped down slightly as she napped. The older girl squinted at the mark, knowing what it looked like and not believing it at the same time. Was that a hickey...?

She glanced into the hallway to make sure Nayeon wasn't watching and then gently lifted the corner of Sana's collar to get a closer look. It was undoubtedly a hickey and there was more than one. Momo looked at Mina's sleeping face in disbelief before her eyes traveled back to Sana. There was no way... right?

And within that moment of discovery and doubt, Mina moved slightly in her sleep and absolutely _moaned_ Sana's name, as if trying to tell Momo that her assumptions about Sana's hickeys were correct. 

"Sattang..." Mina moaned deeply, dreaming of Sana in lurid ways that Momo would rather not think about.

Momo panicked in that instant, not wanting Nayeon to hear, and yet also not sure of what she herself was seeing or hearing. Out of instinct, Momo kicked the sofa gently and both Mina and Sana stirred a bit, instantly waking up.

"Hm? Momo?" Mina asked groggily. She instantly let go of Sana's hand. "You're back. What time is it?"

Momo nervously arranged her expression into a smile. "It's about 3pm. Nayeon and I got back early. Sorry about--"

"Don't worry about it," Mina replied with a sleepy smile. "Sana and I had a lot of fun while you guys were gone."

Momo smiled back sincerely. "I'm glad."

With her eyes still closed, Sana sleepily tried to shoo Momo away. "Leave us alone. This nap isn't over yet."

The oldest girl laughed and then tucked them both in with the fallen blanket. "Have a good nap you two. Let's catch up after you're both awake."

Momo turned away and left them alone, filing away the new bits of information about Sana and Mina's relationship status for later. It didn't really matter to her though. As long as Sana and Mina were happy, Momo was happy, too.

In Momo's absence, Sana sleepily reached over and pulled Mina to her, wrapping the younger girl's arms around her waist to spoon her. "Ten more minutes," Sana murmured.

"Nayeon and Momo are home though..." Mina pointed out nervously, her arms still embracing her girlfriend.

"Just keep your hands out of my clothes and your tongue out of my mouth and they'll never suspect anything," Sana smirked with her eyes still closed. "Rated G."

"I think I still remember how to be Rated G," Mina smiled, snuggling into Sana's warm body. And they drifted back to sleep in each other's arms, extending the beautiful dream they were having together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so excited to share this ending with everyone! Was it worth reading the whole story just for this? Let me know what you think! Kudos and comments would be greatly appreciated. :)
> 
> Epilogue comes out Friday. See you then!


	12. Epilogue: Sneakiest Moments

It was about seven weeks after Chuseok. Sana and Mina spent every day since the start of their relationship stealing kisses with each other late at night, early in the morning, and when no one was looking. The secretive nature of their relationship was fun and exciting, but they also longed for extended periods of time where they could be together away from prying eyes.

On rest days where the Twice members usually went out together, Sana began to occasionally stay behind to be alone with Mina. And although the members found it extremely uncharacteristic for Sana to not go out on those rest days, no one seemed to realize that Mina and Sana were now dating.

"Just wait until you go out on the next rest day," Sana murmured into Mina's ear as the two feverishly tore each other's clothes off the moment the other members were gone, making full use of their alone time together.

Mina giggled, placing butterfly kisses down the length of Sana's neck. "Everyone's heads will explode."

Sure enough, when Mina decided to go out the next rest day, she was suddenly the talk of the town among Once and Twice. And when she went out the next two rest days after that, everyone thought she was sick. But still, no one suspected that the reason Mina suddenly wanted to leave the dorm was because she wanted to go on dates with her girlfriend.

Mina finally got to experience the cute shopping dates with Sana that she always dreamed about. She finally got the chance to feed Sana desserts at their favorite cafe while knowing full well that the affectionate glances Sana gave her were anything but platonic. And although sometimes there was another member or two in tow with Mina and Sana on these dates, completely oblivious to their new couple status, Mina was thoroughly enjoying her dating life. It wasn't the most ideal way of dating, but Mina and Sana were making the most of it and it was more fun and fulfilling than Mina ever would have imagined.

Mina never felt jealous whenever Sana was affectionate with the other members. She watched Sana cuddle with Dahyun on the sofa and smiled. She watched Sana offer a kiss to Jeongyeon (which was obviously rejected) and laughed. She watched Sana flirt with Momo and baby Chaeyoung and hold hands with Jihyo and it honestly made Mina happy because every interaction made Sana happy, and Sana's happiness was her happiness.

And Mina didn't mind in the slightest that Sana was giving attention to the other members because Sana was first and foremost hers. Because in the dead of night, whenever they snuck back into the living room together while everyone was asleep, it was just the two of them and Mina was the one Sana cuddled with, Mina was the one Sana really kissed, Mina was the one Sana babied and flirted with and touched deeply, sensually, and lovingly. Because Mina was Sana's number one and Sana was Mina's.

"I have a confession," Sana mumbled against Mina's cheek one night after pulling back from a slow and heated kiss. "I was really jealous when you were holding hands with Nayeon-unnie earlier."

Mina pulled back from Sana's lips and stared incredulously at her girlfriend. " _You_ were jealous of _ME_? _You_ , who spent the afternoon flirting and hugging and nearly sitting in Tzuyu's lap, were jealous that _I_ held Nayeon-unnie's hand?"

Sana buried her head shyly in Mina's shoulder. "What can I say? I'm a jealous person by nature."

Mina smiled, in no way offended by Sana's misplaced jealousy. The older girl's subtle insecurity over her was endearing. And at it's worst, Sana's honest and simplistic jealousy made Mina feel loved. She kissed Sana and took her hand, bringing her lips to each of Sana's knuckles lightly. "You are the only person for me, Minatozaki Sana. There's only room in my heart for you."

Sana blushed from the sincere declaration, kissing Mina's forehead as Mina kissed her hands.

"Do you want me to look only at you?" Mina wondered, taking Sana's other hand and continuing the string of kisses over her knuckles. "Do you want me to talk only to you? Play only with you? Touch only you?"

Sana hugged Mina greedily. "Yes. But that would make me a selfish girlfriend. And a hypocrite."

Mina laughed. "It would make you a total hypocrite. But I would do it if it makes you feel more reassured."

Sana shook her head with a smile. "Just kiss me, only me."

"Only ever you," Mina confirmed, leaning in for a kiss.

"Me too," Sana agreed, smiling into Mina's waiting lips. "Only ever you."

* * *

Some day after their second month of dating, Mina went into her bedroom one afternoon and quickly noticed that the furniture was rearranged. Most notably, her bed was now pushed up against Sana's to create a double wide bed. And Sana, the likely creator of this new furniture layout, was resting comfortably on top of the resulting double bed with a mischievous smile on her face.

Mina looked around the room in confusion. "Eh? What's going on?"

"You like?" Sana asked playfully, patting the open spot next to her on the bed. "I was getting lonely sleeping without you, so I came up with a solution for it. Tada!"

The younger girl smiled nervously. "Sana, I'd love to sleep in the same bed with you every night, but isn't this a little too obvious? People are gonna figure it out..."

Sana laughed and shook her head. "Jeongyeon and Momo have been sharing a bed since the beginning and no one really thinks they're dating. So why can't we share a bed too?"

Just as Mina was about to make another argument against the new sleeping arrangement, Nayeon and Jihyo entered the room. They both paused in surprise and stared at Mina and Sana.

"Huh? What are you guys doing?" Jihyo wondered.

"Just moving the furniture a bit. Mina and I wanted more space to store our stuff, so we pushed our beds together." Sana pointed to the large, empty space where Mina's bed used to be. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Mina waited nervously for Nayeon and Jihyo's reaction to Sana's natural-sounding explanation.

"Whoa, daebak!" Nayeon said, nodding impressively at the amount of extra space that Mina and Sana had gained. "That makes so much sense!" She quickly turned to Jihyo. "Jihyo-ya, let's do it, too."

"And give you more space to spread your mess? No thank you," Jihyo declined.

Nayeon pouted and tugged on Jihyo's arm. "Please? I'll keep it neat. Plus, we can sleep next to each other. It'll be super cozy!"

Jihyo plugged her fingers in her ears and started to walk away. "Lalala~, I'm not listening until you clean up your part of the room first!"

Nayeon and Jihyo exited the room noisily, leaving a surprised Mina and a smug Sana alone in the room. Without another word of complaint, Mina went over to Sana and laid down next to her girlfriend in their new bed. They shared a quick kiss with each other, smirking all the while as accomplices.

Mina knew that one day, when they were ready to tell everyone, Twice would support her relationship with Sana. But until then, Sana and Mina would find a way to make their relationship work.

"I love you, Mittang."

"I love you too, Sattang. Are you still lonely?" Mina asked, gazing into Sana's glittering eyes. She already knew the answer, but she loved to hear Sana say it.

"I'm not lonely," Sana murmured affectionately, "because Mittang is here."

"Good," Mina smiled. She laid her head on Sana's chest. The older girl's heartbeat was steady in her ear as Sana stroked her hair. "I'm not lonely either because Sattang is here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, folks! I hope you all enjoyed my attempt at a realistic and super soft Misana love story!
> 
> On Monday, as a thank you to everyone who read and supported this story, I'll be releasing a neatly formatted epub/ebook version on this story. And perhaps an announcement about a short continuation of this story in the future... :)
> 
> Thank you all again for reading "The Loneliest Person". This was my first long fic for Twice and for my favorite ship, Misana, so it'll have a special place in my heart!


	13. Gift For The Readers

Thank you all for supporting "The Loneliest Person"! I'm planning to follow up the story with a short two-shot (maybe three-shot) that takes place about 6 months after the events of "The Loneliest Person". For all of you readers who were asking to see what happens when the Twice members find out about Misana's relationship, this follow up story is the answer to your questions. Please look out for it in the future. It'll be called "I See Stars When I Look At You". AO3 won't let me post a placeholder story without content, but the placeholder is up on AFF if you're interested.

[I See Stars When I Look At You](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1372689)

  
  


And finally, here is the epub version that I promised. Check below for a dropbox link for the epub version of "The Loneliest Person". It's my first time releasing my fanfics as an epub, so forgive me if there are any mistakes with it.

If you're having trouble downloading the epub or if you notice any issues with it when you open it in your epub reader, please let me know. Any feedback you give will let me release higher quality content in the future! :)

[Dropbox Download Link](http://bit.ly/Dropbox-Loneliest)

  
  


Thank you again for supporting "The Loneliest Person"!


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